Different Paths
by Whitesmith
Summary: Jackson suggests an open relationship. Is this really the right thing for Aaron and Jackson? Reviews and general thoughts much appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

Different Paths

A/N:_I do not own Aaron or Jackson. ITV does. If I did, none of the following would even have the chance to happen._

'Aaron, we need to talk. I'm sick of us skirting around this, we need to talk about it.'

It was morning. Aaron sat on the bed whilst getting into his overalls which still boasted dirty marks from the day before. Jackson sat in his wheelchair by the side of his bed. Aaron had stayed over at Dale View again last night. As usual, he'd insisted that the sofa was comfortable enough to sleep on. Jackson had argued differently. As much as he appreciated Aaron's night time vigils, Jackson couldn't help but feel guilty watching his boyfriend struggle to get comfortable on the sofa by the window, but pretend to be nonetheless. They'd talked well into the night, like they used to; except not like they used to. Not like they used to at all. There was no contact whatsoever. Hell, they were barely in the same room. Having to raise their voices to enable the other to hear across the downstairs of the cottage was beyond awkward, but both refused to acknowledge it. Refused and feared it; scared as to what inevitable questions it may raise about their relationship. There was an emptiness; a vacuum between them. Ironically, the growing distance between himself and Aaron was the only thing Jackson could feel.

'Talk about what?' Aaron asked absentmindedly, grimacing at the filth smearing the clothes he was putting on. They had barely spoken since Hazel had woken them and left to fetch 'supplies' from Viv's.

'Aaron…' Jackson lowered his face, indicating that surely the topic of discussion was blatantly obvious. Aaron shook his head. Jackson sighed hard.

'About…_us_. About how we can't, yer no, be _close_ any more.' As much as he cursed Aaron for his refusal to talk about such issues, in truth Jackson found it just as tricky.

'Yeah, but we're coping aren't we?' Aaron tried hard not to show his awkwardness with the briefest and limpest of smiles..

'Are we?'

'Jackson I've told you! It was never just about sex with you. It was way more than that. Surely me being here shows that?'

'So, what? We're just meant to trundle along as we are, never touching each other ever again? Aaron, we can't even share the same bed- I can't even hold your hand!' The pain radiated from the older man's face, tears beginning to brim within his dark eyes. His mood have darkened in direct contrast to the rising light beaming in through the windows that morning.

Aaron didn't know what to say. He empathised so much with his boyfriend, yet he didn't have the solutions. He couldn't even come close.

'I know we've never been big on the PDA's but, when it was just us two, when we were together, at yours, on holiday, for God's sake even at Bar West! Aaron, I can never touch you again.' A lone tear trickled down Jackson's cheek. 'Aaron I can _never_ touch you again! Can you really live with that, live with _me _for the _rest of your life_. This is how it is Aaron, this is never going to get better…'

'The Doctor said that…' Aaron cut him off but before he had chance to air the much referenced vague hope they had of some kind of recovery, his boyfriend shot him down.

'Aaron stop! Just stop! It could take _years _Aaron, _years_. It may not even happen at all! Can you really wait that long?' His upset had spilled over into anger. Not at Aaron, but at their situation. Inwardly, Jackson hoped that this clarification was implied.

Aaron reached out, grasping Jackson's arm, a tear mirroring Jackson's as it slid down his face.

'Yes! I can! I will!'

If he could have, Jackson would have moved his arm away out of Aaron's grasp.

'Aaron you're eighteen! I'm the first boyfriend you've had! You can't be expected to be lumbered with something as pathetic as me for the rest of your life!'

Inwardly, Aaron winced at the word 'pathetic'. Jackson was anything but pathetic. Instead however, a very different tone spluttered out of Aaron's mouth; the defence mechanism.

'What is this? Is this your complicated way of dumping me again? Like you did at the hospital when you said all that stuff and wished I was dead?' Jackson looked up as Aaron jumped to his feet. Jackson shook his head, openly sobbing.

' No…'

'Just say it Jackson, I'd rather you just tell me! If you don't want me, just tell me! If I'm not good enough or I'm useless at caring for you, just tell me!'

'You're not useless! And I'm not dumping you!'

'I'm trying Jackson, I really am! If you wanna chuck me, just say it coz it actually hurts me even more when you talk about yourself like that, I'd rather you just tell me!'

'I'm not chucking you! That's the last thing I want! I need you Aaron, I really do! And I don't just mean with, yer no, the practical stuff.' Aaron sat back down on the bed, wiping the tears from his face. Jackson continued. 'When I told you I didn't want to see you anymore, and you didn't come to the hospital for weeks…I….I….Aaron it felt like _years_. I missed you _so_ much! I felt sick every time someone even mentioned your name!'

'I don't understand then. I don't get it.' Raw confusion now ebbed from Aaron's glistening eyes.

'I'm suggesting that, that, we perhaps…' Jackson swallowed. '…have an open relationship'.

'A what?'

Jackson straightened up. 'An open relationship. I'll still be here, but you can still have the chance to go and meet people… and stuff.'

'Are you insane?' Aaron stood up again, towering over his boyfriend.

'I…'

'What do you think I am?'

'Nothing, I just thought…'

'Who's put you up to this? Was it your mam…or _my_ mam?'

'What? No, neither… I _can_ think for myself Aaron!'

The younger man was already at the door.

'Really? Coz I don't remember you saying stupid things like that _before_ you were paralyzed!' He shouted across the room, avoiding all eye contact as he did so.

'Aaron!'

Aaron lowered both the tone and volume of his voice.

'I've got work.' With that, he slammed the front door behind him.

'Aaron! Aaron!'


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jackson sat in his chair looking at the TV in front of him; looking, but definitely not watching it. He could hear Hazel clattering around upstairs. He glanced at the clock for the eighteenth time in the last ten minutes. Aaron usually had lunch at half twelve. It was now 12:40… 12.41. He worked literally metres away. Sometimes Jackson could hear Aaron and Cain shout playful obscenities at each other through the brick. Jackson loved that. He'd often hear Ryan verbally try and break up their war of words making the whole situation sound even more comical. He was usually here by now. Aaron always popped in for his lunch. Maybe today he wouldn't. He's probably bypassed the cottage completely and gone to the Woolie, Jackson thought. He wasn't going to come. Not after their argument this morning.

12.43.

12.44.

Just as Jackson was about to give up and finally admit defeat and become immersed into _Cash In the Attic_, the front door creaked open. Jackson tried, and failed, to hide the excitement in his big brown eyes as Aaron sheepishly stepped inside. His head was down. He looked nervous. He rounded the bed that jutted out into the room. He held onto the rail as he began to speak.

'I'm sorry. For what I said… the 'paralysed' thing'.

Jackson swallowed.

'You're forgiven.'

There was an awkward silence.

'So…where's your mum?' Aaron turned Jackson's chair to face the side of the bed. He sat down exactly where he'd sat this morning.

'Upstairs. Has been for ages now. No idea what she's doing.'

'Maybe she's having a cheeky nap.' Aaron laughed nervously, 'I swear she never stops these days…'

'Aaron, we're doing it again.' Jackson's faced turned serious. Noticing it, Aaron's smile dropped.

'What?'

'Ignoring the massive elephant in the room!' Jackson spoke slowly and sighed, his voiced edging towards anger again. 'I'm serious. We need to talk about this.'

Aaron rubbed his hand over his cropped hair in exasperation.

'Oh not this! Jackson, it was a stupid idea that we…_I,_ am not even going to consider! It's insane!'

'Is it?'

'Yes!' Aaron jumped up, the physical distance between them increasing to mirror the mental one. 'Are you really saying that you'd be happy to see me with some other bloke? Be happy for me to come over for tea at night knowing all the while where I'm going afterwards? Be happy for me to come over and visit you at night after seeing _him_? Are you _really_ saying you'll be fine with that?

'I can deal with it. I can. It's fine.' Jackson choked down a sob.

'Fine? Really? So it's fine for me to kiss you, and you can still taste him on my lips, you can smell him on my skin? That's fine is it? You'd be fine with that?' Aaron spoke with with a spiky tone, the hurt he felt inside manifesting itself in verbal daggers.

Unbeknownst to them, Hazel, alarmed by the sudden raised voices, had crept to the top of the stairs and listened to the scene unfold, questioning herself as to when, not if, she should intervene.

'I can learn to be fine with it. I can' Jackson whimpered, tears rolling down his face for the second time that day, telling himself as much as Aaron.

'Well I can't Jackson. I can't. I can't go out and do… _whatever_ knowing that all the while you're sat here waiting for me to come home. I can't.'

'You don't have to feel guilty for me…'

Aaron threw his head up to the ceiling.

'You don't get it do you? It's not that! Well it is, of course it is, but it's more than that. The last thing I want in this world is to hurt you. And I would do. I cannot enjoy myself whilst I'm hurting you. And either way, I can't, I can't… _do_ those things without you. It's just, it's just, kind of _not right_. I don't want or need, anyone else.'

Hazel smiled to herself. To her at least, this was a declaration.

' 'Yeah, you might feel like this now…' Jackson started quietly.

'Am I talking Spanish here?' Aaron snapped, 'Can you not hear what I'm saying?' Unconciously, Aaron clenched his fists, turning from Jackson. 'You know what… forget it. Just forget it.'

And with that, he'd gone. The door slammed behind him, the sound reverberating around the small cottage and around Jackson's head.

He sniffed, attempting to hold back more tears. They'd splattered his face until it was sore. It dawned on him that he couldn't wipe them away. At this thought, his stomach dropped all too familiarly. Something else quickly dawned on him too.

'Come on then Mum, come and have your say.' He growled, knowing there was absolutely no need for him to raise his voice, Hazel was bound to already be close enough to hear.

Hazel crept down the stairs and turned Jackson's chair to face her. She forced a smile and knelt down to his level. It was clear that she had also been crying.

'What did I do to deserve a son so loving and special as you eh?'


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Paddy jumped in his seat and dropped his hastily prepared sandwich as Aaron barged through the front door of Smithy and headed straight upstairs.

'Alright? Good day?' Paddy shouted after him with a knowing smile. He knew the best way to handle Aaron when he was in a mood like this was to carry on as normal. It irritates Aaron more, but it is slightly more amusing for the other party. 'Aaah Hazel said you'd be like this.' He continued undeterred, his words clashing with the thump of Aaron's feet on the stairs. Immediately the sound stopped, however. Slowly Aaron made his way back down to the doorway of the kitchen. His face was thunderous, his eyes narrow and black.

'What?'

Paddy suddenly wasn't so smug. Suddenly his sandwich clogged his throat.

'Erm, Hazel, she said, she said, you and Jackson…' he spluttered.

'Oh I _knew_ she'd have to stick her oar in! It's got nothing to do with her! Or you!' He stormed off back upstairs.

Hazel had told Paddy about Aaron and Jackson's conversation earlier that afternoon in a hushed conversation outside the cottage. Aaron had sensed they were watching him at the garage but was in such a foul mood he chose to absorb himself in the engine he was working on rather than worry about what that old bag was gossiping about. He had enough worries.

Now, Aaron threw off his clothes and threw them into the corner of his room, mentally noting, but not really caring that they needed washing. He quickly changed into the first clean thing he could find and swung his bedroom door open to find Paddy standing right on the threshold. The sudden appearance of Paddy's blushing face made him jump back in shock. Paddy smiled. Aaron wasn't in the mood to embrace the comedy.

'Jesus Paddy! What the hell are you doing? Listening at my door?' He slid past and started down the stairs.

'No, I just wanted, I just wanted to say that…that whatever you choose to do, no-one will judge you!' His sentence peaked in volume as he strained for it to carry as far as the bottom of the stairs. The door rattled shut. Aaron was gone. Paddy couldn't help but worry for him. He knew that it was none of his, or Hazel's, business, and either way, this was an issue that neither of them could solve for the two young men.

As soon as Aaron laid foot inside the Woolpack he noticed Hazel sitting across the bar whilst Bob chatted away at her from the other side. There was a brief moment where they unexpectedly shared eye contact; both drew away as sharply as they could. Aaron took an empty stool at the side of the bar closest to the door. It meant sitting opposite her, but at least he wasn't close enough for her to speak to him, he thought.

Aaron sat. And drank. And thought. Then drank some more. It was at least three or four pints later when Hazel finally swaggered over to him, her right arm resting casually on the bar.

'You took your time'. Aaron grumbled, completely deadpan, not looking at her and taking another sip of his pint.

'Aaron, love,' she hesitated, 'I know it's not my place to get involved but…'

'Then why are you then?' Aaron turned to face her, glaring.

'Well, I _care_, just like you care…' She started, initially taken aback by Aaron's immediate flash of aggression.

'Oh just stay out of it will you! For once!' Aaron took a last gulp of his pint and slammed his glass down on the bar. His stool creaked loudly as it scraped the floor as he left abruptly. On the way out he crashed into Adam who was on his way inside.

'Hey! Mate! Aaron!' He shouted after him, Aaron ignoring him and trudging determinedly on. 'Aaron! What's up with you?'

'I'd just like some peace for once! But apparently that's not allowed!' He'd briefly turned to face his best mate, exasperation and worry radiating his face in the cold night air. He quickly continued to tramp up the street. He knew exactly where to go. He watched as the lonely bus stop came into view and he paused.

'Nah, fuck that.' He murmured to himself. Aaron dug his phone from his pocket.

'Yeah, Taxi please…to Hotten.'


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_A/N: Although __some events in the story may be inspired by future spoilers that have already been released,, after some consideration, I've decided to change certain details. As I have no idea of the actual personalities of future characters, only names, I've decided to invent my own characters to avoid any potential clash when these characters are eventually introduced into the actual show. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and I hope you continue to do so._

Aaron stood outside Bar West and inhaled heavily. He pushed the door open, a tidal wave of noise, heat and the weight of the amount of people inside sweeping over his face. He felt his stomach fizz and his throat become scratchy. After all this time, Aaron was amazed at how a simple building could still have such a petrifying effect upon him. He'd been to Bar West countless times with Jackson and his friends, he thought he'd started to feel settled in here, like he belonged there. It was somewhere he need not fear being judged or isolated. Now he felt isolated. So isolated he felt physically sick. It was so different alone; it felt nearly as terrifying as when he'd first stepped inside almost a year ago. Those memories were still so painful and stepping up to the bar by himself, knowing he exuded nerves and anxiety, brought them all screaming back.

The bar was busy. He waited silently, money in hand. Every time the stressed bar staff served somebody but himself, he felt another pang of anxiety. It was too busy. He wasn't going to get served. He wasn't going to be able to get a seat. It would be so easy to leave, just walk right out the door like he'd never made the mistake to come in in the first place. No, he was past that, he was past giving in, he wasn't that person anymore. So much had happened since the last time he'd felt like this. He downright refused to go back.

Ironically, considering the temperature of the crowded bar, Aaron felt cold. He missed Jackson; the way he used to slip his hands around his waist and rest his chin on Aaron's shoulder while they both waited at the bar. The feel of Jackson's stubble against his cheek, his big brown eyes waiting patiently and happily. Aaron always responded with a snide comment about being Jackson being soppy, but he never pulled away; not once. He loved it. Right now, as he waited alone, he hoped Jackson had noticed that, had read him deeper than his cheeky putdowns.

Aaron finally got served. It felt peculiar to only order one drink; like his whole wait had in the end proved pretty worthless. He hoped nobody had noticed him wait that long for just one drink. Sidling his way through the crowd at the bar, he reached a quieter area where the sitting area dropped down onto the dancefloor. He rested against the metal bar and supped at his bottle of beer. He looked around at the throngs of people talking, laughing and dancing. Most people seemed to be in small groups. One group stuck out in particular. A guy about Aaron's age was pressed with his back against the bar, glugging at a bottle of Champagne while his friends, three guys and one girl, chanted for him to down it. Aaron noticed an embarrassingly over-sized badge on his checked shirt; obviously a birthday boy.

A hard shove from behind woke Aaron from his people-watching, habitually he swung around, shoulders raised and glared at the perpetrator.

'Sorry mate', the guy said with an apologetic grin and raised hand. Aaron relaxed and let the guy past. The man shuffled away but looked back at Aaron one more time as he disappeared into the crowd. Aaron watched his eyes quickly survey him.

'Oh God,' Aaron thought, 'he's noticed I'm by myself. He must think I'm a right sad act. Oh God, I'm one of _those_ guys. The ones you smirk at for standing alone, usually old guys with their Dad-at-a-wedding flashy shirts. Aaron's confidence plummeted even further. He could have sworn he'd heard it thud as it hit the bottom of his stomach. He could only imagine how pathetic he looked. Suddenly his beer tasted acrid and he struggled to swallow it down. He needed it though. Perhaps it would make it easier. Plus it felt less awkward to be _doing_ something.

'I could just be waiting for my mate to come back from the toilet', Aaron told himself. The people around him would surely notice differently though.

''Scuse me mate.' A group of four lads sat at the table next to him had got to their feet and were evidently leaving. The one who spoke to Aaron was obviously attractive. However, it was the man who followed behind him who caused Aaron to stare. Around his neck swung a silver chain. Not in any way similar to Jackson's in shape, yet enough for it to trigger happy, then tragic memories of his boyfriend. Aaron let the men past then grabbed the table for himself. The table was small but it immediately felt too big for Aaron. As soon as he sat down, he knew that he'd have to get back up again pretty soon to go to the toilet. Those three or four pints at the Woolie were starting to sit uncomfortably. Aaron forced his drink down and struggled to decide whether to avoid all eye contact or to make an effort to look comfortable and confident to those around him. That was the point right? To look approachable? Or was it? He was sure that wasn't why he'd come here- to meet someone. He was with Jackson- or was he? Their argument was pretty big. After all, weren't his own last words to Jackson 'forget it?' What did that mean? What did Jackson think that meant? Subconsciously, had he really wanted to finish it with Jackson? Had he really actually come here to move on, leave all of that _stuff_ behind, or had he come to prove a point? To show Jackson how stupid his 'open relationship' suggestion really was- to show him exactly how much it would hurt when he got with somebody else? Was he really that bitter, that cruel; that in order to prove some silly point he'd be willing to cause Jackson so much pain? Escaping the village 'to think' had actually made things entirely more complicated. He looked up to find a guy Paddy's age watching him from across the dancefloor, a creepy smile stretched across his saggy face.

'Ok, that's it, this is too weird.' Aaron decided. He necked down the rest of his bottle and edged through the crowd towards the toilets.

As the music drowned out, a putrid smell of urine greeted his nostrils. Aaron did his business, washed his hands and headed towards the door. A voice from the grey, graffiti-stained cubicle to his right made him pause.

'Shit!'

There was a small snap and a phone battery skidded across the floor in front of him. The door clicked open and Aaron instantly recognised the man as the birthday boy he spotted earlier. He clutched what looked like three other pieces of his defunct phone in his hand and reached out to collect the battery.

'Oh, sorry mate.' The guy said, only just noticing Aaron. Aaron rolled his eyes.

'S'alright.'

The guy smiled. Aaron noticed how faultless his gently tanned skin was, a gentle sweep of stubble gracing his face. He had deep blue eyes that Aaron could swear smiled at him even more than his mouth did. He wore a fitted blue, white and black checked shirt which emphasised his athletic torso. He had closely cropped black hair that was longer than Aaron's, but only long enough to just allow for a styled, waved flourish.

Aaron indicated that the guy was allowed to reach in front of him to grab his phone battery. The birthday boy did so.

'That really isn't going to work is it?' The man asked. Aaron wasn't sure whether he was supposed to answer.

'What? Once it's been on _that_ floor? Naaa mate. To be honest I'm not sure I'd even wanna touch it.' Aaron answered.

'Yeah you're right.' The guy slung the wet battery into the sink next to Aaron and grimaced. 'Shit. You know, usually I'm that guy that mocks people who break their phones on nights out, but look at me.' He sighed laughingly. Aaron smiled. The guy's teeth were perfectly straight and bestowed an amazing radiance to his already addictive smile.

'Not the best birthday I'm guessing?' Aaron instantly regretted bringing it up, had he revealed too much of how he'd already noticed this stranger earlier in the night? The man squinted, obviously questioning how Aaron knew it was his birthday.

'The badge.' Aaron indicated, relieved at his own quick thinking. 'Good save' he thought.

'Shit, I forgot about that, how embarrassing!' The man quickly unpinned the badge and laid it next to the sink, crossing Aaron's path. An obviously inebriated tall bald man entered the impossibly small toilets. The birthday boy moved into Aaron to let the man past. Aaron felt his shirt touch his hand.

'Yeah to be honest, I think the night has just come to a natural end.' The man continued, throwing the rest of his battered phone into the sink. A loud cough followed by an awful spluttering from a cubicle behind them caused them to lock eye contact once again. They shared playful disgusted looks and made for the exit. The birthday boy held the door for Aaron as he led the way out. There was a brief touch of fingers as Aaron took the weight of the sticky door. The two walked a little distance out into the bar. The birthday boy cut short, spotting his mates across the other side of the dancefloor. Aaron watched as they grinded up against each other to the music. The explicit closeness of the girls and boys made Aaron question which, if any of them, were actually gay. He wondered if the fit, stubbled guy in front of him was. Aaron watched Birthday Boy's flawless face change as he inwardly decided not to return to them. Without another word, he fought his way through the crowds towards the bar's exit. Aaron was already intending to head out. As they both headed in the same direction and Aaron swerved into the gaps the birthday boy created in the crowd ahead of him, he wondered whether their 'connection' was still there, or whether the acceptable time for them to acknowledge each other had ended as Birthday Boy had passed him the toilet door.

The two young men didn't share another word as they both walked out into the cold. Aaron felt awkward as they moved apart by the side of the road. It kind of summed up his night, his day in fact. He pulled out his phone and selected the taxi company from his contacts list.

'Oh, mate. I don't suppose I could borrow your phone could I? After yer know, what happened to mine!' Aaron jumped as Birthday Boy made his way over to him; he looked even fitter now Aaron could see him more clearly. He hoped he hadn't noticed him jolt with surprise. He hard the taxi company's number start to ring in his ear.

'Err, yeah sure. Just give me a sec.' Birthday Boy smiled. Aaron felt his insides melt. 'Oh! Errr hi, yeah, could I have a taxi please?...Bar West, Hotton….to Emmerdale…yeah, cheers, thanks.' Aaron hung up.

'Emmerdale?'

'Yeah…'

'I'm from Robblesfield!'

'Really?' Aaron questioned if this could really be happening. He felt his face redden. Again, he hoped Birthday Boy hadn't noticed.

'Yeah! You don't mind if I share yours do yer, might work out cheaper?'

'Erm, no, sure…'

'Sorry, I'm being well forward aren't I? I blame that bubbly crap them lot made me drink in there!' He laughed. 'I'm Dan.' He held out his hand.

'Aaron.' Aaron shook it.

'Nice to meet you Aaron', Dan smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

'Sorry. This has been a bit weird hasn't it', Dan laughed nervously. 'It's been a bit of a weird night.'

'Tell me about it', Aaron thought, but didn't vocalise. The two of them had sat silently for an uncomfortable few moments as the taxi drove off. Aaron consciously tried not to look awkward. He wasn't sure if it was working.

'So, Aaron, what do you do with yourself in Emmerdale?'

'Erm, I'm a mechanic' Aaron answered, an uncertain look on his face.

'Ahh a mechanic, nice…I've got an M.O.T due soon, maybe I'll nip over to ya to have it done.'

Aaron swallowed; he both hoped and dreaded that Dan would actually do that.

'Sorry, I bet everyone says that when you tell them what you do don't they?' Dan squirmed. 'If it helps, I study Sports Science at uni so people always assume I wanna be a…'

'…PE teacher.' Aaron guessed.

'Yeah, exactly.'

'And you don't?'

'No, I do actually!' He laughed, ''spose that's how predictable I am!' Aaron was once again mesmerised by his gleaming smile. Dan rubbed the steamed window to look at the town rushing by outside.

'I'd say jumping in a taxi with a stranger was quite unpredictable.' Aaron replied after a few seconds of quiet.

'Haha! I guess.'

It went quiet again. Aaron decided it was time for him to make the conversation.

'So, how come you decided not to go back to your mates?'

'I dunno, considering it's my birthday, they always seem to get way more drunk than me. Then they start getting all pervy with eachother and I'm left the gooseberry all the time. Thought the time was right to make my exit.'

'Won't they wonder where you are?'

'Probably, eventually. I'd usually text 'em, but yer no…I can't tonight.' Dan grinned.

'You wanna use mine?' Aaron offered without hesitation. He yanked his phone from his tight jeans pocket.

'You sure?'

'Yeah, go for it.' Aaron could feel himself start to become more relaxed. He hoped he looked it. Dan thanked him for the phone and began texting.

'So, how come you left yours?' he asked.

'What?'

'Your mates. How come you left 'em?' Dan asked again, looking up.

'Oh! Erm, I dunno, just wasn't feeling it tonight…' Aaron stuttered. At least Dan hadn't noticed he was a sad loner in the corner.

A few more moments of silence passed before Dan passed back Aaron's phone and thanked him again. Conversation continued steadily. Aaron began to feel more and more comfortable with this handsome stranger. Dan was different in the taxi; as the journey progressed and the town disappeared into the darkness of the countryside, Aaron noticed Dan also seemed a lot more relaxed. He was less loud and outgoing than when they'd first met, but still not quiet or shy. Aaron wished he would come across more like that. Still, Dan didn't seem unperturbed and continued to chat happily, his cheeky grin making a shot of nausea fizz through Aaron's stomach everytime it appeared. Dan seemed like a really nice, easy-going, easy to get on with, kind of lad. Like Adam, but fitter, more focused and less, well, dippy. Aaron thought. Oh and fit, very fit. From first glance Aaron had found Dan hugely attractive, but the way he'd just hopped into Aaron's taxi had worried him that he was one of those 'in-your-face' kind of gay men Aaron still felt terrified of and uneasy to be around. Aaron knew it was wrong and that he shouldn't feel like that anymore, but he did. He questioned whether it was all part of him accepting who he was. He needed Jackson for that. Jackson was the one who put all the pieces into place for him; both back then, and now.

Jackson. Jackson; right now in bed at home. A huge pang of guilt shot through Aaron's chest. The feeling clawed at his throat. Aaron wasn't sure whether he was still able to speak. Dan's voice awoke Aaron from his prolonged anxiety.

'Right, this is me then, anywhere here cheers mate!' Dan leant forward to the taxi driver then turned back to Aaron. He hoisted himself up in his seat as the taxi came to a stop. He leant backwards and pulled his leather wallet out of his jeans. Aaron caught himself glancing at Dan's pert arse. 'If I give you a tenner, that'll be enough for me won't it?' Dan asked, handing Aaron the note.

'Errr, yeah, yeah sure, that should be more than enough.' Aaron replied, taking the money.

'Ace. Well, nice to meet you Aaron.' Dan beamed, opening the door but never looking at it, instead intently watching Aaron's reaction. He stepped out, his blue eyes gleaming even more in the moonlight. They shimmered with a cheeky and knowing flirtation. His smile grew wider than ever.

'Yeah, you too.' Aaron smiled back, glowing with sincerity.

Dan pointed at the money in Aaron's hand.

'If it's any less, you can pay me back when I come for my M.O.T.' He teased. Aaron felt his smile stretch even further across his face. The door slammed shut. He was gone. The taxi pulled away.

'He _was_ teasing right?' Aaron suddenly questioned in his own head, his smile dissipating. 'He was, wasn't he? He won't actually turn up at the garage right?' He swallowed. His chest felt tight again and his breath caught in his throat. 'What if he does? What will Jackson say? There's no chance he won't see. He lives _next-door_ to the bloody garage. If _he_ doesn't, _Hazel_ will. Oh God, how do I explain that? How do I explain who this 'Dan' guy is?'

Twenty or so minutes later, the taxi drew up at Smithy. Aaron quickly paid the driver and got out. It was only around 11.45 but the village was dead. The hanging baskets outside the Woolie trembled in the chilly air, the only sound the gentle breeze brushing the trees. Aaron looked down the street towards the garage and the quaint little cottage next to it sat in a settled, blanket darkness. Right now, Aaron would do anything for tomorrow not to arrive. Dread filled his body at the thought of going to work tomorrow, looking Jackson in the eye, watching his polite and friendly intrigue as Dan strolled up towards them, telling Jackson about where Aaron had spent his night. Aaron bit his lip until it started to hurt. He turned around and opened the front door. Silently, he crept upstairs to his dark, lonely room. After a few hours of tossing and turning over his racing thoughts, sleep overcame him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Aaron was on tenterhooks from the moment he stepped out of the front door and trudged to work. Cain likened him to a rabbit in that a slightest noise made him shoot up from the engine he was working on and check for danger. Dan wouldn't _actually_ turn up would he?

'Why are _you_ acting all shifty?' Cain had asked.

'Why are you paying so much attention to what _I'm_ doing instead of what _you're_ doing?' Aaron growled back.

'Oi lad!'

'Chill out boys. I'm sure Aaron will tell us what's bothering him in good time'. Debbie sidled in. 'From what I hear, he did last time.' Cain sniggered. Debbie smiled smugly, folded her arms and walked back inside. Aaron glared at them both. To say he wasn't in the mood would be beyond an understatement. He'd been at work less than an hour and already he was annoyed.

'Seriously mate, are you alright? You seem a bit…edgy today.' Ryan asked.

'Jesus I'm fine!' Aaron threw down his spanner and stormed off towards the café.

'And where are _you_ going?' Cain shouted after him.

'I need something to eat.' Aaron yelled back, without looking around.

' 'You've only been 'ere five minutes!' Aaron didn't reply.

As he reached the street, a crack of a door to his right made him look around. The door opened to reveal Hazel fumbling around trying to get Jackson's chair out of the front door of Dale View. Both of them saw Aaron storm up the road, but neither spoke. Neither of them had parted on good terms the last time they'd spoken to him. Hazel sighed. She groaned and strained as she continued to fight with the chair. Jackson was downcast, both embarrassed and despairing at the situation. All he could do was sit helplessly as Hazel cursed him, or rather his chair. He knew he shouldn't think it, but Jackson told himself that it was his own inability to move which made this scene so humiliating.

When he'd first seen them, Aaron had inwardly resolved to ignore them and continue to evade the situation. This was the last thing he needed today. As Hazel continued to audibly scuffle with the chair, Aaron glanced back and saw Jackson's sad, reddened face cast to the ground. He couldn't imagine just how hard it must be to live through this every single day and to see _Jackson_ go through it, someone he cared for so, so deeply, Aaron swore he felt physical pain for his boyfriend. Aaron stopped. He looked at the sky and sighed. He turned back and paced up the path to the cottage.

'Give it 'ere.' He told Hazel. With little effort, Aaron eased Jackson and the chair out of the door. Jackson was wearing his grey hoodie. Aaron liked that hoodie. Jackson had bought it at the airport on the way to Lanzarote. At the time, Aaron had laughed at him.

'Why are you buying a _hoodie_?' He'd asked, 'We're going to _Lanzarote_. You're hardly going to get cold!' In more than just simple smugness, Jackson had smiled as Aaron had (without asking) worn the hoodie to the airport on their return journey. They'd had to leave Lanzarote so early in the morning that it _was_ _indeed_, cold. Aaron would have loved nothing more to have smiled openly and shared that recollection, but it wasn't exactly appropriate anymore.

'There.' Aaron said shortly once it was done.

'Thanks.' Hazel offered, more than a little defeat evident in her voice.

'Yeah, cheers.' Jackson murmured, eyes still focused on the ground.

Without saying anything else, Aaron started back down the path. Hazel looked panicked, for her son's sake she was eager to halt Aaron in his tracks.

'It's a good job I won't have to do this myself for much longer!' She cried.

Aaron stopped.

'What?'

'The new carer starts soon.'

'Right.' Aaron nodded. 'I didn't know you were looking.'

'Aaron, I told you three weeks ago.' Jackson said, still quietly, looking up for the first time, clearly annoyed.

'Oh, yeah.'

'On the phone…when you were in Bristol?'

'_Yeah_, I know!' Aaron did remember, but with the stress of the morning Hazel had simply taken him by surprise. He was now irritated it seemed he was being accused of not listening or caring. 'It's just quick, that's all.'

Hazel had sensed the already tense situation had soured even further and attempted to lighten it.

'Well you know me! Never one to put something off!'

'Right.' Aaron lowered his voice. 'So when's he start?'

'Tomorrow, hopefully. He's only based in Leeds so he said he could start whenever!'

'_He?..._Right.'

'Yeah, Jez his name is.' Hazel smiled.

Aaron nodded, unconsciously, his tongue poked around the corner of his mouth. He turned away and continued to trek up the street. Hazel deflated and looked down at her son. Jackson's annoyance had turned into obvious disappointment.

'Right, let's go for this walk then shall we?' She chirped, false smile radiating only weakly.

Aaron spent his lunch alone at the Café. He pleaded with the clock to slow down so he wouldn't have to return to the garage and potentially face Dan, all smiles and handsomeness. He'd usually go over to Jackson's at lunch but even if he'd managed to suppress his bubble of guilt, he had a feeling a visit would only result in confrontation.

The afternoon dragged on just as slowly as the morning. It had briefly been interrupted by an almighty row between Cain and Charity. Him and Ryan had stood and watched but truth be told, Aaron was barely interested; he simply welcomed the distraction for a few moments. It was approaching 3pm and Dan still hadn't turned up. He really must have been joking.

After the argument, Charity had stormed off and Cain had chosen to vent his frustration on Ryan and Aaron; mostly Aaron. He barked something about Aaron being in a fowl mood all day, possibly intimating that Aaron was the one who'd set him off with Charity. He'd sent Aaron off to collect some paperwork from a parts dealer in town.

Aaron pulled up outside the garage. As he switched the engine off, he was alarmed to realise he couldn't remember any of his journey there or back. He barely remembered the face of the guy he'd spoken to at the parts place. He really wasn't on form today. Aaron slammed the door of the van shut and climbed out. He edged around a car Ryan was working on. Paperwork in hand, Aaron stepped into the darkness of the garage. There were two figures talking by the back wall.

'Yeah cheers for that mate! See ya!'

Aaron recognised that voice.

'Aaron! Told you I'd come didn't I?'


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Aaron tried to swallow down his shock.

Dan sauntered out of the darkness, hand outstretched. Aaron clutched his paperwork as tight as he could. With a flash of confusion on his face, Dan returned his hand to his pocket and tried again.

'So, how much _was_ that taxi in the end? I felt well rough this morning!' He grinned, looking gorgeous in the fading late afternoon sun.

Aaron didn't- _couldn't_- respond. Ryan rose to his feet behind the car next to him. Aaron winced. The silence was growing. And growing some more. Cain appeared from the shadows of the garage squinting. Dan looked around, then back at Aaron. His smile was gone.

'Right… I'll be off then'. He said, teeth bared with awkwardness. He swept into a blue Ford Focus parked to Aaron's right. With remarkable speed he reversed out into the street and roared back up the road.

'Taxi?' Cain snarled, both grinning and frowning at the same time.

'Last night eh?' Ryan chipped in, his face full of banter.

'Don't start.' Aaron growled. Embarrassed and furious at himself, he threw the papers down at the back of the garage and stormed back outside.

'Oi! Where are you going?' Cain started after him.

'Home… I don't feel well'.

'No you aren't!' Cain grabbed Aaron by the shoulder and pulled him around. Aaron frowned and jerked his shoulder away aggressively.

'What was all that about? Who's he?' Cain continued.

'It's none of your business!'

'If he's the reason you've been away with the fairies all day then it _is_ my business!'

'Leave it.'

'Listen, if you decide to play away from your fella, I couldn't care less Aaron, but try and not do the dirty on your doorstep eh?'

'You don't know what you're talking about.'

Aaron walked away seething. He could feel perspiration on his forehead. He refused to wipe it away as that would mean acknowledging it was there.

'Aaron! Aaron!' Cain barked after him. There was more concern in those yells than Aaron would ever understand.

Before Cain's bellowing had had time to fade away, Aaron heard another voice shouting his name. In the corner of his eye Aaron spotted Hazel shuffling out of the shop and heading straight for him.

'Aaron! Aaron!' He rolled his eyes and stopped. He placed his hands on his hips as Hazel caught up with him. She glanced back down the road. 'What was that about?' She asked uneasily.

'Nothing.' Aaron replied, finally turning to face her.

'I'm glad I caught you.' Her faced was red, her voice slowly broke into trepidation. 'I know that things between you and Jackson aren't exactly great at the moment but…tomorrow…when he meets his carer…you'll be there right?'

'Errr…' Hazel had caught Aaron completely by surprise for the second time in a matter of hours.

'Please.' Aaron wasn't sure it was a great idea, especially after the frosty atmosphere of the last few days. Perhaps it would be best for Jackson to bond with his carer more first- just them two. Or was that just himself copping out, Aaron questioned? He looked at Hazel. He saw her quiet, suppressed agony. He hadn't seen her face in such a way since the accident. All those dreadful hours spent at the hospital, Aaron hating himself for causing Jackson, Hazel, everyone, so much pain. The recollection sliced through him like a blade in his chest.

'Yeah… Ok. When do you want me there?'

'About 2?'

'Fine.' Aaron set off towards Smithy.

'Aaron!' Hazel called, prompting him to turn around. 'Thanks.'

As he reached home, Aaron genuinely didn't hear Paddy scramble through from the practice and call after him. He shut the door of his room behind him. He threw himself down on the bed and stared at the beige ceiling above him. The waves of guilt continued to crash around in his stomach. Aaron knew this feeling well, but it certainly didn't mean he knew how to deal with it any better. He replayed Dan's appearance at the garage over and over in his head.

'What an absolute knob!' He thought in one instance. 'I just stood there with my mouth open like an absolute gimp! What an idiot!' In another thought, he cursed Dan for actually turning up. 'Who does that? Who goes to see someone they only shared a cab with the night before? Who does this guy think he is? Who do _I _think he is?' He deliberated, his thoughts suddenly turning more serious and grounded.

He turned over onto his side and let his arm flop out over the covers. They were cold. Aaron hated that feeling. He hated it even when Jackson used to sleep there; especially when Jackson used to sleep there. Now he never slept there. He never would again. The thought brought tears to his eyes; then memories, horrible, awful memories of the crash, of Jackson telling him he loved him, of himself shutting the door in Jackson's face. If only he'd lied. That's what people did wasn't it? Lied so everyone was happy. But surely it would have been wrong to allow Jackson to believe his feelings were exactly matched when they weren't- at least as far as Aaron could determine?

'At least Jackson wouldn't be like he is now.' Aaron concluded. One little lie could have changed Jackson's life forever. Instead, the truth did. Aaron had been lying his whole life. What on earth had stopped him then?

Aaron knew the answer to that last one; Jackson had taught him to live; to face the truth, accept the present and get on with his life.

Now it was Aaron's turn to return the favour.

###########################################################

The next day, Aaron had regained his sense of urgency and arrived at work uncharacteristically early. Cain noticed immediately a distinct change in the Aaron of late. Even in Bristol, his mind had always seemed elsewhere; always having to be told twice to do something. Today, he was quiet but focused; he busied himself calmly throughout the day. Cain even noticed Aaron ignore a phone call on his mobile. To Aaron, it made no difference that he was at work, _his_ mobile was _his_ mobile. Cain had threatened to smash it to pieces with a crowbar on more than one occasion. At around 2pm, Aaron approached him and asked him if he could take his lunch. By not taking it at 12.30 as usual, Cain had asserted that New Hard Working Aaron was just going to work through it. Apparently not. Suspiciously, Cain agreed and watched his nephew shrug off the forecourt with his hands in his pockets. Cain frowned as he heard Aaron's phone ring again and watched sceptically as Aaron once again took it out and hung up on it.

###########################################################

'You invited Aaron? You _are_ kidding me?' Jackson asked his mother. 'Mum, this isn't a happy social occasion. I'm meeting my carer.'

'I know, I just thought it might be nice if we all met him at the same time, that's all.'

'Why? What difference does it make? The guy's gonna be here everyday!'

'I know, I just thought…'

'Yeah, well maybe you should stop_ just thinking_!' Jackson stated more than a little maliciously.

'Jackson! I was only trying to help!' Hazel stood firm, irritated that her own son was talking to her in such a way.

'Meddle more like!' Jackson shot back. Hazel visibly reeled at the insinuation. 'I don't want him here Mum!'

_Aaron stepped up to the door outside and raised his hand to knock_.

'But why? Aaron really cares…' Hazel pleaded.

_Aaron stopped as he heard his own name from inside the house._

'I don't care Mum!' I don't want him here! It's only gonna make today a thousand times worse!'

_Aaron lowered his hand. He'd heard it; straight from Jackson'__s mouth. It was what he'd feared for so long; he didn't want him there. After that, there was no way he could walk through the door. He'd been gearing himself up for it all day, but now there was no way. He turned dejectedly and with grief written all over his pale young face, Aaron made his way down the short path and towards the pub. _

'I don't understand. You saw him yesterday! He wants to help.'

'I don't want him to help! I want him to be my boyfriend! I want us to be like we were before!'

'But…'

'I don't want him to be involved with all this crap!' With his head, Jackson gestured to the wires and contraptions cluttering the room. 'I especially don't want him to see some guy feed me, or dress me or bloody wash me!'

Hazel knelt down and placed her hands as comfortingly as she could on Jackson's knees. Jackson's speech spluttered into racking sobs.

'I mean, how humiliating is that? My own boyfriend watching me not able to feed myself or dress myself! How embarrassing is that? I _know_ it has to be that way now but I don't want Aaron to see me be treated like a baby Mum, I can't!'

'Sssshhh I know, I know' Hazel got to her feet and cradled Jackson's weeping head in her arms. 'It's Ok. It's all gonna be Ok.'

###########################################################

Aaron nursed his second pint and ignored whatever comment it was that Alicia spouted at him across the bar. It was only lunchtime but Aaron could think of nothing better than getting absolutely hammered. He took out his phone to text Adam. To his surprise, as soon as he touched it, his phone began to vibrate. He'd been getting phone calls off a number he didn't recognise all day. This time it was a text. Aaron clicked 'open'.

**Hey Aaro****n, it's Dan. I know it must be really weird that I've been ringing you all day but I just wanted to apologise for what happened yesterday. I know how it feels to be unexpectedly outed in front of your mates as I'm pretty new to all this myself. Maybe I can buy you a drink sometime to make it up to you? Cheers, Dan x**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Aaron threw his phone down onto the bar in frustration.

'Problem?' Diane piped up with a raised eyebrow. Aaron huffed.

'Trust me, I wish there _was_ just the one'.

'What is he doing texting me?' Aaron thought. 'What's wrong with him? Why can't he just get the picture?' There's no way Aaron would go and meet Dan 'for a drink'. He had Jackson. Aaron knew all to well that what Jackson said wasn't necessarily how he felt. Of course he'd care if Aaron went out with someone else. It'd hurt him like hell. Jackson needed him. Or did he? That certainly wasn't what it sounded like just. Jackson _didn't_ want him; he _didn't_ want him there.

Although the shock of what he'd heard still resonated, he wasn't too surprised. In hindsight, it had been coming for days. All this talk of 'open relationships' and letting Aaron 'live his life'- Aaron had been right- it was all just a brush off. He didn't blame him. Jackson had enough on his plate without him buzzing around him; saying the wrong things, acting awkward, not knowing how to help. He perhaps _was_ better off without him. Aaron was well aware of the stress he'd caused Jackson even _before_ the crash; if there was a time Jackson really didn't need it, it was now.

Aaron looked at the clock. Half of his lunch break had already gone and he'd had nothing to eat. He wasn't hungry; he just wanted to get drunk. Aaron picked up his phone and text Adam.

**Alright mate? Fancy a cheeky night out tonight?**** I'm thinking town. Need to get away from this place.**

Aaron waited five, ten, fifteen minutes. No response. Watching his lunch break tick away and being restricted from drinking anymore due to work, Aaron leant grumpily on the bar. He saw Betty and Edna share a mutual disapproving glance at him; they were obviously talking about him. He checked his phone again- still nothing.

Dan wasn't that bad, Aaron thought. He remembered the taxi ride home; how petrified he'd been at first to be sharing a cab with such a hot guy. He remembered how swiftly he'd begun to feel comfortable in his presence though; how easy he was to talk to. Just like a mate, Aaron thought.

He picked up his phone. He read Dan's text one more time then hit reply.

**Hey, don't suppose you fancy tonight do you?**

A nerve-jangling twenty minutes later, Dan replied. Aaron was back at work but thought nothing to texting him back right under Cain's nose. They agreed to meet tonight at Bar West. Aaron's stomach lurched as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket after the plans had all been made. He was so excited he found it hard to mask his absentminded smiles for the rest of the afternoon. He'd always snap out of it however as the red hot presence of a certain nearby residence and it's occupiers burnt a hole in his back.

########################################################

Aaron stood in front of Bar West- right where he'd stood just two nights before. He edged his way inside to find it was much less busy tonight, although it had only just turned 7pm. He was half relieved, half anxious when he spotted Dan had already arrived. He sat with his back to him at the same table Aaron had sat the other night. On the one hand, Aaron would have appreciated a few drinks to build his confidence up meeting him, but on the other, at least he didn't have to sit by himself again. Aaron swept around the table, giving Dan a nervous 'Alright.' Dan wore a plain grey V-neck top; it's fashionable cut subtly emphasising his impressive body.

'Hey! You alright?' Dan's whole expression lifted as Aaron pulled off his coat.

'Yeah, yeah good'.

'Thought I'd blown it with the whole 'Hi! You barely even know me but I'm going to turn up at your place of work!' thing!' Dan smiled cheekily a bit later. His complexion briefly turned a shade of red.

'Haha! Yeah, sorry about that... I was such a gimp…like standing there with my mouth open!' Aaron laughed. 'I was just a bit shocked!'

'Yeah I'm sorry if that made things awkward between you and your workmates. I just didn't think!'

Aaron had forgotten that Dan had assumed Cain and Ryan didn't know about his sexuality.

'Errr, nahh it's alright. They're… they're ok.' Aaron nodded, livid with himself for not saying something more convincing. There was no way he was going to tell him the real reason for his surprise. He told himself that the less Jackson played upon his thoughts and his life from now on the better. He didn't believe it for a second. Nevertheless, he strode on with the conversation, becoming more confident by the minute.

Once again, Dan was extremely easy to talk to. They talked cheerily for a good thirty minutes. Aaron regularly found himself not listening to a word Dan was saying. His mind kept wandering to Dan's framed chest, his manly arms, his welcoming stubble and the eyes he was almost afraid to look into in case he never returned. Even as he only thought it, Aaron chastised himself for being so corny.

Talk turned to work. Aaron was telling Dan how he could honestly never imagine himself doing anything but working with cars. He cursed himself for the choice of topic…it immediately drew Aaron back to Jackson and how much _he_ loved doing what he did before it all went so horribly, horribly wrong…

'Errr Dan…' Aaron jumped out of his thoughts and straight over Dan's voice.

'What?' Dan asked, worried. Aaron continued to stare over Dan's shoulder.

'There seems to be three very excitable people heading straight for us.'

'Really? What do they look like?'

'Well, there's a girl with red hair…'

'Oh God'. Dan's exclamation broke Aaron's stare. Dan hung his head.

'Dan!' The girl with the red hair cried, still a few feet away. She smiled brightly, her eyes wide with over-exaggeration. She threw open her arms and Aaron watched as Dan reluctantly got off his stool to greet her and the other boy and girl. Immediately Aaron could tell the other two were a couple. They seemed reluctant to let go of eachother even when greeting their friend. Dan gave the girls both brief hugs and gave the guy one of them matey handshakes Aaron never really got.

'What are _you_ doing here?' The redhead asked of Dan.

'Errr well I was just having a quiet drink wi…guys this is Aaron, Aaron this is Lydia, Luke and Charlotte. Aaron smiled politely.

'Alright mate.' Luke nodded, Charlotte enveloping herself into his arms smiling.

'Aaron! How nice to meet you!' Lydia held out her hand. Her bright red lips broke again to reveal a too wide grin. Aaron shook it.

'Errr, you too.'

'So what are you lot doing here anyway?' Dan enquired, not trying too hard to cover up his disappointment.

'We just thought we'd come for a quick drink after lectures.'

'In _here_?' Dan asked, obviously enquiring about the odd choice of a gay bar for a 'quick drink'.

''So, who's for the bar?' Lydia chirped.

'S'alright, we'll get 'em' Luke offered.

'Oooh can I have a small glass of Rosé please?' Lydia asked. Luke nodded.

'Aaron?' He offered politely.

'Errr yeah, a beer would be great cheers.' Luke lifted his eyebrows at Dan.

'Errr no, I'm alright for now.' He grumbled. Luke and Charlotte left for the bar.

'Just gonna pop to the ladies' Lydia tweeted, setting her bag down upon the stool next to Dan.

'I'm so sorry.' Dan groaned sincerely after she was out of earshot. 'I had no idea they'd be here.'

'You sure you didn't ask them to come hold your hand?' Aaron flirted.

'Hahaha! Why? Should I have done?' Dan winked.

Aaron blushed, smiling widely.

'These your friends from the other night then?' He asked.

'Yeah, them and my mate Greg. We all go to Uni together. Well, I've known Lydia for…well, as long as I can remember really. Now we do the same course.'

Aaron nodded.

'She does Sport Science?'

'Yeah, they let girls in now and everything!' Dan teased. Aaron sniggered and took another sip from his beer.

'You remembered what I did…nice.' Dan continued with mock smugness. Aaron laughed. He was still riding high on his wave of confidence.

'Baaaack!' Lydia swept, only now taking her coat off. Her long glowing but obviously dyed hair fell around her face beautifully. She looked far too glamourous for a student, Aaron thought. 'So, is everyone Ok?' She asked, almost breathless.

'Mmmm.' Answered Dan, still obviously peeved at the intrusion.

'Aaron?'

'Errr yeah, yeah, not bad. You?' Somehow Aaron felt his question fall awkwardly. Why was he having this type of conversation with a girl he'd never met before?

'Yes! Good thankyou! Not been put off yet then?' Lydia nudged Dan with a giggle. Dan forced a weak smile. 'I told him to stop being such a stalker!'

Aaron squinted. Dan had been talking about him already? They'd only met a couple of nights ago. They'd literally only ever had one conversation before tonight. Truth be told, Aaron had felt uncomfortable with Dan's sudden visit to the garage, the same with the phone calls and the text. He was willing to let it drop however; Aaron knew all too well how awful it was in the beginning. It still made him nauseous to think of the time he'd got the wrong end of the stick with Jackson and thought Jackson had asked him back to his place even though they barely knew eachother.

'I'm never gonna live that down am I?' Dan blushed.

'Nope! Not as long as I'm around you're not!' Lydia tittered, looking up at her friend. Dan had briefly sat back down when Lydia had gone to the toilet but returned to standing as soon as she returned.

'I needed my car doing…and I'd met a mechanic the night before! I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone!' he shrugged.

Aaron nearly made a joke about Dan calling him a 'bird' but now they had company the banter didn't seem quite as appropriate.

'Id have run a mile if a guy I'd met the night before turned up at my place of work the next day!' Lydia exclaimed, still smiling, although Aaron felt it was much less convincing.

Aaron swirled the remainders of his pint nervously. A few moments later, Luke and Charlotte returned from the bar and handed Aaron and Lydia their drinks. Luke and Charlotte sat across from Aaron next to Lydia. Dan moved round to sit next to Aaron. Aaron felt something inside him twang like an elastic band as Dan's leg briefly touched his own. Aaron swore he could smell the faint scent of Dan's aftershave as he sat closer.

The fivesome chatted happily for some time. Truth be told, it was mostly Dan and his friends who talked with Aaron contributing only every so often. Luke and Dan shared a gentle banter throughout. They seemed to have a very close, unspoken friendship. When the subject of Dan's recent 'coming out' occasionally raised its head, Aaron could see there was a tinge of nervousness between them but it was clear they were too good mates to let it come between them. It was obvious to Aaron both of them inwardly refused to let it affect anything; even though their previously laddish bond may have taken a slight knock. Aaron knew that relationship well. He thought about him and Adam and how so much had changed in one furiously paced year.

Aaron rapidly became irritated by Lydia. She insisted on leading almost all of the conversation, her loud voice constantly rising above everybody else's. The aforementioned banter between Dan and Luke was overshadowed by what Aaron could only term as Lydia's attempt at it. Instead, her verbal knocks at Dan left a sour taste in the air. She'd always take one step over the line so her mocking became almost personal and unnecessary.

Charlotte spoke even less than Aaron. She spent most of her time cuddled up to Luke like a baby monkey hangs onto its mother. After a while of only mumbling in eachother's ears, the couple decided to leave. Aaron prayed Lydia would follow them. She didn't. She cheerfully waved Luke and Charlotte off as Dan offered to go to the bar. Lydia requested another glass of wine; Aaron another pint. As he left, Dan dropped his wallet to the floor just behind Aaron's stool. Lydia sat unawares, checking through her phone across the table.

'I'm sorry. Are you gonna be ok with her?' Dan whispered in Aaron's ear. Aaron inwardly shivered as Dan's hot breath brushed against his ear and cheek. 'We can leg it if you want?'

It would have been so easy, and Aaron certainly _did_ want.

'Nah, don't worry it's fine'. Aaron offered graciously. After the immaturity he'd shown with Jackson's friends, he was determined not to make the same mistake twice. It was time he grew up. That's what everyone was always saying to him.

Dan moved his face away only very slightly; just enough to take in Aaron's well-mannered but wonderful smile. It would have been the perfect moment to snatch a brief kiss, Dan thought. Despite his often confident demeanour, he couldn't muster up the courage as both of them waited, their eyes darting between eyes and moistened lips. Aaron's lips parted; but similarly he couldn't bring himself to make that first move. Suddenly, once again, he was hugely conscious of Lydia sat across from them. She continued to rifle through her phone, seemingly blissfully ignorant to the delicious slice of sexual tension.

'I-I'll just get the drinks then shall I?' Dan mustered.

'…Yeah'. Aaron nodded slowly and disappointedly. Dan walked away. Aaron scanned the room in embarrassment, taking in a deep breath and trying to get his heart started again.

'Right…' Lydia slammed her phone onto the table. It was almost as if she'd been waiting for Dan to leave. Aaron jumped. 'Aaron, we need to talk'. Her face was serious and stony. Her previously radiant skin suddenly seemed darker, more ordinary. Her expression was focused yet with an edge of cunning. He lips curled.

'Really?' Aaron pulled a face.

'Listen. I know you don't know me, but you need to trust me on this Ok? You need to know something.' She moved in closer. Aaron didn't respond. 'Dan isn't who you think he is.'


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

'What?'

'I've known Dan all my life. I know him better than anyone, even more than he knows himself. This 'confident', trendy guy who calmly gets into taxis with boys he barely knows; it's not really him.'

Aaron wondered where she was going with this.

'He never used to be this attractive or popular you know. At school he was the kid everyone either picked on or ignored. No-one chose him in P.E; he sat by himself on the bus. Nobody cared who he was. Then one summer he took up boxing. He got fitter and he got more confident. He started to get a few friends and the girls started to take an interest…including myself.'

There was a silence. Lydia's tone dropped to the level of a grieving mourner.

'We were together for nearly two years.' She broke eye contact and she watched herself slide her fingers distractedly around the base of her wine glass. 'Then we broke up.'

'Right, I still don't get why you're telling me this.'

'Don't you get it?' Her piercing eyes lifted. 'It's all an act. This whole 'gay' thing…it's not real.' She smiled meekly. 'It's just an attention thing. It's history repeating itself. He's doing it to cause a stir and get himself noticed again. He loves it.'

'You_ are_ kidding?'

'I thought it was only fair I tell you now, before you get your hopes up. It isn't fair on you.'

Aaron scrunched his nose up with disgust.

'You what?'

'Oh don't worry. You'll find someone else!' She chirped with faux concern. She reached out for Aaron's hand like a councillor.

'Who _are_ _you_?' Aaron quickly pulled away his hand and jumped to his feet. His stool screeched behind him. 'What's wrong with you? This_ is_ a wind-up right?'

'Aaron…' Lydia pleaded, hushing him.

'No…you really think he'd pretend to be gay for _attention_? What's wrong with you?'

'Aaron, sit down please…' Lydia looked over to the bar. Dan was turning, handling the three drinks carefully.

Aaron knew he had a speedy decision to make. He liked Dan…he'd thought Dan liked him. Why should he believe this weird girl he'd only just met? Her story was ludicrous but her steel and practised lines made Aaron unsure as to whether Lydia actually really believed this rubbish. Aaron watched Dan weave his way across the bar, he looked back to Lydia. Her crimson lips were pursed, her eyes shot like daggers.

'Aaron…' Her voice was slow and resolute.

No, this girl was crazy and massively needed to get over herself, Aaron thought. Her friend was gay and no matter how much she loves him and deludes herself, it was never going to change. Dan was not false and not conniving. Aaron questioned how they were still friends; a guy so genuine and sweet and a girl with an obsessive, possessively destructive agenda. Aaron cursed himself for allowing Lydia's words to plant doubt in his mind. However, there was no way he was going to be told what to do by someone so obviously deluded. Aaron considered that even if he didn't like Dan, he'd continue to see him just to tear apart this sad excuse for a human so arrogant and manipulative, a sad excuse he'd only just met.

Aaron took a slow but substantial intake of breath as Dan gave him a questioning expression as he got closer; obviously confused as to why Aaron was suddenly standing.

Lydia must have read Aaron's mind.

'Don't even think about telling him about this conversation Aaron.' Aaron looked at her, his jaw locked with fury. 'Who's he gonna believe? His best friend and love of his life, or some grubby chav he picked up two days ago?' Lydia sneered, her sinister lips filling out with satisfaction.

The fact that she had a point, made Aaron's rage roar even more furiously. He swallowed it down as Dan approached the table and laid the drinks down on the edge.

'Your not going are you?' Dan asked, unspoken concern in his eyes.

Aaron looked back to Lydia.

'No…just going for a fag.' Aaron gently touched Dan's shoulder as he sidled his way past; half to genuinely sustain his balance, half to piss off Lydia. He didn't look behind him but he could feel her eyes bore into his back.

#######################################################################

Unsurprisingly, the rest of the evening was uncomfortable for all. Lydia shared occasional pleasantries with Dan; agreeing or smiling at whatever he said. Aaron hardly spoke at all. He didn't trust himself to open his mouth without completely losing it. Ironically, it was now that he felt most confident. He could feel his anger swirling with the alcohol in his blood, screaming for an outlet.

The change of atmosphere hadn't gone unnoticed by Dan. He tried his best to make conversation but it wasn't long before he called time on the evening. He insisted he had an essay to write or something; Aaron wasn't really focusing properly. As Dan made his excuses, Aaron suddenly felt guilty. It wasn't Dan's fault their date had been ruined and he was pretty sure Dan would blame him for its sudden change of fortune. He could almost hear Dan's thoughts; the mysterious, slightly cheeky lad he'd met the other night, the one who blanked him at the garage, really was just a bad-tempered, moody piece of work.

The three of them made them way outside. The night was biting cold. Without a word, Lydia stepped away to call a taxi.

'We sharing?' Aaron ventured.

'Errr, I don't think so, not tonight.' Dan replied, digging his hands into his pockets and looking at Aaron considerately.

'Ah.' Aaron scrunched his face up. There was a long silence but Aaron realised it needn't be made any clearer as to what Dan was feeling right now. Over Dan's shoulder, Lydia hung up her phone.

'No-one's answering; we'll have to flag one down.' She turned her back to them again, craning her thin neck to see down the street.

'Look…Dan…I'm sorry…for being a bit 'off' just…' Aaron attempted. Dan looked at him; his face full of disappointment.

'Nah, it's fine…I get it…it's fine.' He nodded with a tepid flick of a smile. His feelings of defeat billowed out into the air.

'No, no, coz I don't think you _do_ get it…'

'Got one!' Lydia called, holding her arm out.

Aaron didn't know whether it was the drink, his unsteady but soaring confidence, or Lydia's arrogant swish of hair as she turned to face them, but Aaron then did something that shocked even himself.

Quickly, Aaron leaned in, his hand grasping Dan's bare lower arm and placed a firm but slow kiss on his lips. Pulling away and letting his hand drop, Aaron opened his eyes, wanting to run straight away. In spite of himself, he hesitated and watched as Dan's lips gradually widened to a flushed grin. Dan's eyes twinkled; the boyish charm was alive again.

A black cab whirred to a halt next to them.

'Night Aaron.' Dan beamed, briefly touching his bottom lip with his thumb.

The two men kept an unrelenting eye contact right until Dan was swallowed by the taxi; the same way he climbed out of the first one just a couple of nights ago. As he disappeared inside, Aaron looked up. Lydia hadn't moved. Her now limp hair shook eerily. Her expression was so malevolent it became almost blank. Her chin lifted just an inch. Her green eyes seemed to shudder with anger and raw, stinging hurt. Aaron could have sworn he'd seen it, but it was such a tiny movement he wasn't altogether convinced he hadn't imagined it - Lydia shook her head so ominously slightly it made the hairs on the back of Aaron's neck prickle.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Aaron was buzzing all of the way home. He smiled as he felt the electricity fizz through his body. He hoped the taxi driver hadn't seen him smiling to himself. That would be weird. He kept replaying that unexpected moment over and over again in his mind. He still couldn't believe that _he_ was the one who initiated their first kiss. He swore he could still feel the pressure of Dan's lips against his. He remembered the taste, the smell, the warmth. It wasn't until the taxi pulled up outside Smithy that reality really hit home; what had happened; what he'd done; what he'd become.

He'd just cheated on Jackson.

##################################################################################

Aaron felt like he hadn't slept at all but the morning somehow screamed along faster than he expected. His alarm went off. He'd spent all night thinking about it; now he had to do it. He had to man up, be honest and tell Jackson just what had happened. Rehearsing his words as he showered and dressed; anticipating what Jackson's face would be like, what he'd say to him, Aaron felt ready to vomit.

How could he have done this? How could he have let this happen? He couldn't even blame someone else; it was him who'd leant in, him who'd done the kissing. Aaron's stomach lurched once more. The electricity he'd felt soaring through his body just a few hours before had begun to sting with self-hate. He'd just ruined the only good thing he had in his life. This man who had been so good to him, had allowed him to be free, be himself, _like_ himself; he'd just betrayed in the worst way possible. He'd betrayed him after all that had happened between them, after all that had happened to Jackson. That girl he'd met last night-Lydia- she wasn't half as screwed up as he was. He'd just cheated on his newly-tetraplegic boyfriend. How sick was that?

Slamming his bedroom door, Aaron bolted down the stairs and similarly slammed the cottage door so hard it rattled on its hinges. He couldn't speak to anyone this morning apart from Jackson. Yes, Jackson may have told Hazel that he didn't want him around, maybe _technically_ they weren't together anymore, but that didn't change anything. He'd made a terrible, terrible mistake and he needed to stand up to it and face the consequences. He owed it to Jackson. As he'd said in the hospital all those weeks ago, Jackson hated lies more than anything else in life. Truth was the only option and the only way they were ever going to have a future together. It had to be like this.

Before he knew it, Aaron had reached Dale Head. Laughter from behind the front door clashed violently with the damning thoughts racing through his head. Aaron hammered on the door. The laughter suddenly stopped, but only for a second.

'Come in!' Aaron heard Hazel yell before the giggling resumed. Aaron strode inside. Jackson was sat in his chair with a huge smile on his face. A tall, hairy, 'hippyish' man stood behind Jackson's chair, his uniformed attire indicating his position.

'Oh hello love!' Hazel smiled. Jackson's enormous eyes lit up, but only slightly.

'Jez, this is Aaron. The one I've been telling you about!' he chirped.

'Ahh Aaron! Nice to meet you mate!' Jez reached over and gave Aaron's hand a firm shake.

'Aaron, this is Jez, Jackson's new carer!' Hazel unnecessarily informed him. Jez was tall and slim, maybe just a few years older than Jackson and Aaron. He had a very heavy stubble which Aaron had mistaken for a full-on beard as he'd walked in. He looked like a cross between Gandalf and one of them gnome things from the Noddy cartoons- except with brown hair, Aaron noted.

Aaron just about managed a nod. It was genuinely all the courtesy he could muster up at that moment. Hearing Jackson's adorable laugh again after all of this time had ripped Aaron apart. It had been so long since their dates at Bar West, since their holiday, since they'd lived together under Paddy's roof. Right now, Aaron wasn't even sure he could make words. Conflictingly, Jackson's apparent happiness made Aaron choke with sadness.

'What you doing here anyway? Thought you were supposed to be coming round yesterday?' Jackson piped up cheerily. His joy seemed to block out any animosity or negativity shared between them over the last few days. This momentarily bemused Aaron but undeterred, he attempted to grab Jackson's attention again.

'Jackson...'

'Aaron was supposed to come round yesterday to meet you Jez but he must have got caught up with work or something in the end? Right, Aaron?' Hazel nodded at Aaron, wide eyes pressuring him to play along.

'Erm...'

'Why were they acting like everything was Ok?' Aaron thought. Why had both Hazel and Jackson just intimated that he had been welcome last night after all? What was all that he'd heard last night about then? Were they just keeping up appearances for Jez? Pushing it to one side, Aaron tried again to catch Jackson's eye. His words jarred against Jez's.

'Jackson...'

'Ahh that's alright! Not to worry!' Jez smiled with a sincere but grating enthusiasm. Jackson looked up at his new carer smiling.

'Jackson I really need to talk to you...'

'Yeah, yeah sure. Come round for tea later.' Jackson suggested. He moved his head into Hazel's direction and shouted over the back of his chair. 'That's alright isn't it Mum?'

'Yeah course.' Hazel insisted, sharing a pleased expression with both Jackson and Aaron.

'No, no, I really need to...'

'Sorry mate!' Jackson interrupted. 'Me and Jezza here have a got a hot date in Hotten!'

'Errr less of the 'hot date' please!' Jez protested playfully. 'We've only just met!' The three of them collapsed into laughter.

'Please, Jackson...' Aaron continued, his pained face completely ignoring the shared cackling.

'He was only joking by the way mate!' Jez gestured. He looked down at Jackson. 'Don't wanna irritate the boyfriend already do I?' He cheered good-naturedly.

'You're going into Hotten at this time?' Aaron ventured, breaking away from his thoughts. It was still early. He didn't even need to be at work for another half an hour.

'Well we've gotta get Jackson in my car for the first time and I'm not sure exactly how long it's gonna take!' Jez answered. 'Don't worry though, once we've sorted him out once, it'll be pretty simple after that!'

Aaron lifted his head to nod at Jez's explanation but couldn't quite manage to complete it. He looked at the floor and unconsciously rolled his lips in defeat. Jackson noticed Aaron's struggling expression. He looked like he could cry.

'Right.' With that, Aaron crept out of the cottage, carefully pulling the door closed behind him. It clicked and Aaron set off for the garage. Jackson was the only one to notice Aaron's unusual exit. However, he looked back up to Jez and his mum and rejoined his new found sunnier outlook.

###########################################################################

Aaron wasn't sure whether it was his slight hangover or his awful mood, but that day seemed one of the longest of his life. Lunchtime came and went, the afternoon grew longer, the light began to fade and still Jackson, Hazel and Jez hadn't returned from town. What could they possibly be doing? Dan had text around midday exclaiming about how much he enjoyed last night and enquiring about when they could do it again. Fuming, Aaron instantly deleted the message then cursed his own foolishness afterwards. Deleting his message was futile. He still had his number and, in spite of himself, something stopped him from deleting it. Besides, ultimately, it wouldn't change anything.

It was approaching 6pm when Aaron heard Jez's car pull up outside Dale Head. Cain, Debbie and Ryan had already clocked off but Aaron had insisted on staying late. He was determined to grab Jackson as soon as he returned. As the car doors began to slam, Aaron made his way out of the garage.

'You still at work?' Hazel called through the encroaching darkness.

'Yeah...' Aaron wiped his oily hands on a rag.

'Think we're going up the Woolie for tea if you fancy it?' Jackson shouted. His chair still faced the wrong way so his words became muffled in the breeze.

'Errr...Jackson I really...'

'Yeah come up with us! I'm dying to try out me new local!' Jez insisted. Aaron cringed at his all too friendly attitude and aggravating enthusiasm.

'I. Am. Starving.' Jackson declared.

'You sure, you're not too tired love?' Hazel asked whilst Jez finally moved Jackson round to face his boyfriend.

'Nope. Besides, I've got all day tomorrow to sleep.'

'Errr no you haven't mate, we need to crack on with some proper therapy tomorrow!' Jez cut in as he collected the last of the shopping bags and more importantly, all of Jackson's equipment from the car.

'Spoilsport.' Jackson huffed. He turned his focus towards Aaron, his bottomless brown eyes widening, 'So, what do you say? Woolie?'

'...Errr, no... Got loads to do here before tomorrow... Sorry.'

Jackson nodded slowly, looking more than a little disappointed.

'Suit yourself.' He said good naturedly. 'See you tomorrow then?'

Aaron wanted to say 'No, no I need to see you now, alone. I need to talk to you _before_ tomorrow!' But he didn't. Jackson looked so happy. He hadn't looked so content, so healthy, since before the accident.

'Yeah.' He replied shortly and almost inaudibly. He watched with a grim sadness as Jackson, Hazel and Jez made their way inside the house and shut the door. Aaron paced back inside the garage. He was livid with himself for backing out yet again.

'Such a coward'. Aaron thought to himself. When was he gonna stop being such a wuss and just get on with it? He lobbed a wrench from a shelf next to him against a metal panel on the wall of the garage. It crashed against it with such a loud crack it seemed to reverberate for a good thirty seconds. Aaron leant his elbows on the bonnet of a car and rubbed his face with his hands.

'Oy! What did that thing ever do to you!' Aaron heard a familiar voice bark.

He looked up, Adam was making his way up the forecourt.

'What's up with you?' he asked.

'Nothing.'

'Hmmm, thought you'd say that. What you doing here so late anyway?'

'Working.'

'Really? Cain likes his tools thrown around the place then does he?'

Aaron glared.

'Pint?' Adam nodded towards the pub, his hands dug into the pockets of his jacket.

'Naaa, not tonight.'

'Right...I'll leave you to it then.' Adam said, mild but understanding exasperation in his voice. He started back down the drive.

'Wait.' Aaron called. 'Fancy a few beers round mine instead?'

Adam thought about it.

'Yeah, go on then.'

'Give me five minutes.'

###########################################################################

Paddy and Rhona weren't in. Two more reasons why Aaron was relieved he hadn't gone to the pub. Aaron found two microwaveable curries in the fridge and left them to cook and Adam to idly channel-hop while he grabbed a quick shower upstairs. The shower definitely made him feel better but he still felt something distasteful lingering on his skin. Aaron wondered if he'd ever be able to get rid of that. Aaron hopped down the stairs to find Adam already dishing out the curries.

'Alright househusband?' Aaron grinned.

'Shut it.' Adam handed him his share of Chicken Tikka Masala and rice.

Midway through their meal (naturally eaten on the sofa in front of the TV), Adam felt the atmosphere was comfortable enough for him to broach the elephant in the room.

'So then, you gonna tell me what's up?'

Aaron dropped his fork to his plate. He genuinely looked like he'd forgotten about his little outburst. He sighed heavily and placed his plate down on the floor. After a pause, he finally cast Adam's mind back to the night he'd angrily pushed past him outside the Woolpack and explained the tense conversation him and Jackson had had earlier that day. He told him about meeting Dan, about sharing the taxi and about Dan turning up at the garage the next day.

'Stalker.' Adam added helpfully at that point.

'You bailed on me and that made me even more angry, so I text Dan and we went into town again.'

'Errr, I did not bail on you! I text you back!' Adam insisted.

'Errr like four hours later! _Anyway_, well...at the end of the night...we kind of like...'

'Slept with eachother?'

'No!' Aaron exclaimed, outraged. 'We... you know...kissed.' He blushed.

'Right.' Adam scooped up the last of his rice and set his plate down on the floor. 'Does Jackson know?' He continued, his mouth still full.

'No.'

'Are you gonna tell him?'

'Course I'm gonna tell him!'

'Really?'

Aaron screwed his face up.

'What do you mean _really_? Of course I'm gonna tell him! I've got to!'

'Well, all this talk of 'open relationships' or whatever, surely that means you aren't together anymore.'

'No...'

'Ok then, but it at least it shows that he wants you to do this kind of stuff...live your life and that.'

There was a long pause whilst Aaron thought about their situation all over again.

'Well...I did hear him say the other day...to Hazel...that he didn't want me round there anymore...'

Adam didn't respond. His mate had been through some dark times over the last year and for the moment at least, it didn't seem to be coming to end just yet.

'But I can't just not tell him. I owe him more than that. He's got more than enough to deal with at the moment without people lying to him.'

'Yeah, but also, don't you think he has enough on his plate already without hearing about his on-off boyfriend running off with other boys.'

Aaron winced but chose to ignore Adam's patronising choice of language. Adam had already noticed an involuntary glare from Aaron however.

'I mean the guy's just had his whole world turned upside down...' Adam continued.

'Don't you think I know that?' Aaron snapped.

'Yeah! But have you stopped to think _why _he's suddenly giving you the brush off? Because he doesn't want to see you suffer as well Aaron! I mean just the suggestion that you might be out having fun with other blokes must be tearing him apart!'

'Yeah! I get that! Why do you think I told him it was a stupid idea in the first place?' Aaron growled.

'Yeah but don't you see Aaron? Jackson's holding back his true feelings and keeping quiet about the whole thing for your sake. Don't you think you should do the same?'

'What?'

'Jackson's already hurting enough from just telling you to go out and find someone else. Don't you think that telling him that, 'Yeah, I've done just that actually! I've met this well fit guy called Dan and the other night I kissed him' is going to make things so, so much worse for him?'

There was a pause. A song Aaron hated came onto the music channel they were watching. Aaron angrily switched it over.

'I mean, do you like this Dan?' Adam continued.

'No!' Aaron snorted.

Adam pulled his face, completely unconvinced.

'So you're telling me that the Aaron who last year tried to kill himself because he fancied guys now go's around kissing guys he doesn't even _like_?'

Aaron swallowed. He realised he'd been caught out.

'Maybe... just see how it goes...go out with Dan again.'

'But...'

'Aaron, nobody's gonna judge you for living your life! What's happened to Jackson is _awful_, but it shouldn't ruin both of your lives...'

'Oh, so it's fine if it's only ruined one then!' Aaron snarled.

'I'm not saying that! I imagine they'll come a point where Jackson will wanna move on too - not necessarily with you! I mean...' Adam started to stutter and struggled to remember what his point was. He felt pressure to choose his words exactly right. 'I'm just...I'm just saying that maybe just see where this thing with Dan goes. If it goes further, then maybe it's time you _did_ call it time with Jackson. That'even if there's something to call time on by then...You've already said you seem to be drifting apart. No-one's gonna blame either of you for that either. But there's no point in hurting him unnecessarily. I think you both just need time to sort your heads out. No doubt it's blown you _both_ apart.'

Aaron lifted his gaze to the ceiling and exhaled. Adam saw the pain in his best friend's face.

Aaron knew there was sense in what his friend was saying. It didn't stop him agonising however. The conversation ended there. Both young men quietly switched their attentions to the TV. A set of adverts punctured the comfortable silence.

'So you gonna wash up then Trisha?' Aaron ribbed.

'What? It's not even my house!'

'Exactly! You've just eaten my food!'

Grumbling, Adam climbed off the sofa and took the plates to the kitchen.

'Oh and get us another beer will you!'

Aaron's mood had definitely lifted; perhaps he would actually even sleep tonight, but that didn't mean the huge black cloud of guilt inside his chest had dissipated. Aaron acknowledged that it was probably only a matter of time before it reared its ugly head once again.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Apologies for the slow turnaround of Chapters, I've been quite busy recently but hopefully I'll have more free time from now on so updates should be faster. Thanks for sticking with the story, I've got exciting plans for it! Wx_

Chapter 11

The next morning, Aaron didn't know how to feel. He felt almost numb; like the stress of the last few days had finally taken it out of him. He didn't text Dan back. Dan didn't text him. Again, Aaron wasn't sure whether he was disappointed or relieved by this. At lunchtime he managed to drag himself into Dale Head. He spent half an hour idly chatting to Jackson about nothing. Jez was 'out' somewhere and Hazel was busying herself in the kitchen preparing their lunch. Aaron had walked through the door wound tightly with tension but it felt good to talk rubbish with Jackson again. As time lapsed, Aaron began to feel more and more comfortable again. There was no strain, no talk of 'open relationships', no talk of Jackson's disability. Just chatting.

Jackson was pleased Aaron seemed more at ease that afternoon. The day before he'd seemed so troubled and upset. Jackson could only put it down to the introduction of Jez. It would explain why he never turned up the other night after weeks of bedside (and chairside) vigils. Aaron never did well with change, Jackson thought. In a way, his jealousy was cute. For Aaron to still care was more than Jackson felt he could ever ask for.

Aaron left the cottage with a renewed spirit. He had no idea where him and Jackson stood relationship-wise, but that was nothing new recently. It just felt so good to be able to talk to him again. Aaron knew that even thinking it was corny, but it made him feel warmer inside.

The rest of the afternoon at the garage was uneventful so when his phone chimed with a new message, Aaron jumped on it. He was less enthusiastic as he read who it was from.

**Hey, me and a couple of mates are heading to Bar West again tomorrow night if you fancy it? No worries if you've already got plans. Dan x**

As fantastic as it was to spend some quality time with Jackson, Aaron recognised that, really, he did want to see Dan again. The other night was so great. It felt so good to be able to feel close to someone again; to get that tingly feeling at every brief touch, that feeling of excitement for the future, where things could possibly go. But of course, all of this was laced with a thick, oppressive guilt for Jackson. However, as there would definitely be other people on this night out, Aaron convinced himself that it was more acceptable for him to take up the invitation. Dan could be just a new mate, someone to get out of the village with every now and again. He replied with a short but sweet:

**Yeah, sounds good. Will give you a text tomorrow. A x**

His and Dan's exchange was brief, especially considering this was the first time they had spoken since their kiss but it made Aaron feel better that things seemed to be slowing down. The last week had been mental; he more than welcomed a little respite. Still, just that one text message played on his mind and caused Aaron to bypass dropping in on Jackson on the way home from work. It was a gusty evening and it had already fallen dark. The swaying of the trees seemed to make the streetlights flash angrily. There was rain in the air but it was yet to completely materialise. It was times like these Aaron was glad he only had a short walk home. Almost as he was stood directly outside it, the door to the B&B slammed shut. It made Aaron jump and he turned at the noise. His blood ran cold.

There was a swish of red hair, its curls falling around the perpetrator's face with a practised swagger. The woman smirked. Sharp shadows of swaying branches crashed over her face. Even in the darkness, it was unmistakably Lydia.

'Aaron! I was wondering when we were finally going to bump into eachother!' she chimed over the wind.

'Lydia.'

'Yeah, small world isn't it?' The wind roared through the trees above them. Lydia stood unperturbed, balancing her tiny handbag on her right wrist delicately.

'What are you doing here?' Aaron asked as she made her way towards him.

'Oh, I work here, started today. It's only cleaning the rooms and that, but hey, needs must!'

'You work at the B&B?'

'Yep. I really need the money. You know what it's like -being a student.' She stopped and, completely undisguised, looked Aaron up and down; no doubt taking in the overalls, the dirt and the grime. 'Then again, you probably don't.' Her smile had vanished and her expression verged on open disgust.

'But why here?'

'Why not? I only live in Robblesfield. It's convenient.' She raised her eyebrows. 'Oh...oh, this isn't going to be a problem for you is it Aaron?'

She was mocking him. Aaron refused to drop to her level. He had better things to think about than witty retorts to some stuck up cow's massive delusions.

'No, no problem at all.' Aaron replied with forced control.

With no other response, Aaron continued up the road. Without looking back, Aaron heard the unlocking of a car followed by the thud of a door. An engine started up and as Aaron unlocked the door to Smithy he turned to see Lydia turn at the village junction. As she passed, the streetlight briefly crossed her face. She was smiling. She even raised a hand and wiggled her fingers as she moved off. There was no mistaking the piercing intent in her eyes. Unfortunately for Aaron, he didn't know what that intent was.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

It was Saturday. Any excitement Aaron had felt about seeing Dan tonight had been replaced with a fear of seeing Lydia. Regretfully, the same could be said for leaving the house. The last thing he needed was Lydia to peep out of the B&B window just as he stepped in to see Jackson. He could only imagine the fallout of such a discovery.

However, that said, Aaron was still determined to go out that night. Whatever Lydia had to say about it, he wanted to see Dan and he was quite confident that Dan wanted to see him. For that to happen however, Aaron felt he needed to spend some time with Jackson today. It certainly wasn't a chore, he genuinely loved seeing Jackson, but Aaron was acutely aware that there seemed to be a sense of unconscious duty surrounding his visits. Had it only become a 'duty' in order to keep his guilt about seeing Dan at bay or was he really only seeing Jackson because he felt that he _should_; that it was the right thing to do? It was a decision Aaron felt unable to answer. Self-awareness had always been his enemy.

At around 12.30, Aaron mustered up the energy to head down to Dale Head. As he stepped outside he immediately spotted Lydia's maroon-coloured car parked outside. His heart dropped even further as he spotted Victoria step out of the pub and begin to round the corner to The Grange.

'Vic! Victoria!' Aaron shouted, running over to her. Victoria both looked shocked to be accosted on the short trip to work and simply to see Aaron so animated.

'Hiya, what's up with you?' She asked quietly, still a little wide-eyed.

'Nothing. Just wanted to say hi.' Aaron responded, catching his breath.

'Errr hi...You alright?'

'Yeah, yeah, you?'

'Yeah, ok. Just on my way to work...'

Aaron nodded, biting his lip. His tiny movement hadn't gone unnoticed.

'What's up?' Victoria enquired. Aaron gritted his teeth and paused.

'You met the new girl at the B&B yet?' Aaron eventually managed, nodding his head towards the door.

'Errr, yeah briefly. Why?'

'No reason.'

'Aaron, why are you being weird?'

Aaron looked to the sky and sighed.

'Just...just watch her will you?'

'What?'

'Just be careful. Just don't trust her Ok?'

'What? Why? Wait...you know her? I can't even remember her name...'

'Lydia... Just... _watch_ her Ok?'

Suspicious, Victoria nodded slowly. With no other words, Aaron pouted awkwardly then continued on his way back down to Dale Head. Victoria watched him walk away then tentatively made her way inside The Grange for her afternoon at work.

###########################################################################

It was late on in the day when Victoria finally got a chance to talk to Lydia. They'd shared brief hellos once Victoria had arrived but both were kept busy by Val for much of the afternoon.

'So, Lydia...' Victoria ventured as they prepared the tables together in the restaurant. 'Do you live local?'

'Sort of, I'm only from Robblesfield. It's only a short drive.'

'Mmmm' Victoria mused, laying down two different sized forks next to eachother. 'So, is this like your main job then?'

'No!' Lydia jumped much too enthusiastically. She managed to change her tone before she continued to speak. 'No, no...I'm a student. Just need a bit of extra money you know?'

Victoria furrowed her brow. She was struggling to fathom how Aaron would know a girl like Lydia; she was a student and wasn't from the village.

There were a few moments of silence before Victoria couldn't stand to wait any longer and hadn't the patience to formulate a cryptic way of crow-barring Aaron into the conversation.

'So, how do you know Aaron?'

'Aaron?' Lydia yelped. Victoria was certain she spotted a flash of fear behind her eyes. 'What do you mean?'

'I saw him outside before I came in. 'Said he knew you.' Although Victoria's curiosity was peaking, she was cautious not to reveal too much. As random as her and Aaron's exchange was, his words of warning still rang in her ears.

'Oh, erm, just a friend of a friend...' Lydia stuttered.

'Right.' Victoria responded, completely unconvinced.

'So, erm...how do _you_ know him?' As much as it had surprised her how quickly Aaron had come up in conversation, Lydia had spotted an opportunity. Unfortunately for her, Val had overheard their conversation as she made her way down the stairs.

'Aaron? Ahhh our Vic knows him _very_ well don't you Vic?' Victoria's mouth fell open. Val's tongue was firmly planted in her cheek. 'In fact, correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't you the one who turned him Vic?' Val smirked.

'No!' Victoria cried. 'That was Holly Barton thank you!' Val cackled. Eventually Victoria also found the funny side.

Lydia also began to smile.

###########################################################################

Aaron spent a cheery afternoon with Jackson but his thoughts immediately returned to Lydia as he once again walked out onto the street. Her car was gone. Perhaps she was at home getting ready to join him and Dan on their night out, Aaron dreaded.

When Aaron arrived at Bar West that night, Dan had already arrived. He was sat alone at a table looking over the balcony on to the empty dancefloor.. He smiled warmly as he noticed Aaron walking over.

'Hey! You alright?' He asked as Aaron sat down on a stool next to him.

'Yeah, good. You?'

'Not bad. Got you a drink in.' Dan passed Aaron a bottle of lager. 'The others have just popped out for some cash. I said I'd stay here in case you came in. Didn't want you to have sit by yourself or think I'd stood you up or something.' Dan's eyes flashed. He was wearing a very similar shirt to the one he wore on the night they'd first met. It really suited him. He looked like a football player, Aaron thought; a really rich one who really looked after himself- not the poor student he actually was.

Aaron's relief was evident in his face as well as his voice.

'Good. Rocking up by myself would _not_ have been fun.'

'I'm glad you came.'

'Yeah, me too.'

Both of the young men smiled radiantly and looked into eachother's eyes.

'So, how many of your mates have I got to contend with tonight?' Aaron teased, briefly breaking the eye contact. Dan chuckled.

'Oh, well there's only three of them at the moment but we should be meeting a few more later on.'

Aaron nodded.

'Yeah...sorry about that. We still haven't spent any time, like, just us, have we? Not that I mean...I just...I dunno, after I didn't hear off you after the other night, I guess I was bit too chicken to ask you on like a...' He put on a really high, mock-feminine voice, '..._date_...thing.' Aaron laughed.

'No it's fine. I can't say I'm that comfortable with the whole _date_ thing.'

'I guess I'm not as confident as I try and make out sometimes.' Dan smiled with a genuine and cutely vulnerable smile. His whole face seemed to shine with nervous pleasure.

Aaron cleared his throat. Dan's admission of self-doubt brought Lydia back into his mind; her words to him the last time they were here. He tried to shake them away.

A short time later, Dan's friends joined them. There was Luke and Charlotte (the latter still permanently attached to the former) and Scott, a hairy and very ginger lad who was camper in personality than in looks. Although nervous of him at first, Scott, like the other two were very welcoming and Aaron found Scott frequently hilarious. Scott seemed to take great pleasure in people watching and people mocking; something Aaron enjoyed getting involved with. Scott's playful ribbing even managed to bring Charlotte out of her shell. Aaron even heard her voice a few times as she bounced off Scott's teasing. She even managed to throw a bit of banter back. Aaron started to feel the drink begin to have an effect. He felt confident and incredibly comfortable in the group's company, but he was no more drunk than the rest of them. Scott seemed to have been drunk as he'd walked in so Aaron found it difficult to fathom how much of his character was alcohol promoted and how much was actually him. Nevertheless, Aaron was having a sound night.

During the night, Aaron and Dan had innocently, and not so innocently, grazed knees underneath the table and Aaron's stomach flipped as Dan had placed his hand on his shoulder when asking him if he wanted another drink. It was a tiny gesture which wouldn't at all look out of place in any other pub in town; just a friendly touch between mates. To Aaron though, such a tiny stroke made a spark of electricity shoot through his body. He hoped Dan had intended it to be something more than just a matey pat.

Coming to his senses, Aaron answered that yes, he would like another drink but was interrupted by Luke.

'Oh! Wait a sec, look who's here!' He exclaimed, rising from his seat. Charlotte joined him.

'Who?' Scott asked; his back to the front door. He turned around and spotted Lydia sashaying her way across the bar. 'Oh...Good.' He finished; his voice high on sarcasm. Aaron shared with him a short grin to indicate their apparent shared lack of enthusiasm. In reality, Aaron's heart sank.

Lydia wore a scarlet cocktail dress edged with floral flush that ran across her shoulder. The bottom of the dress wrapped tightly around her thighs. Compared with the rest of them, she looked like she was about to attend the Oscars. Matching red earrings dangled around her face. Aaron wasn't sure if it was the dress or not, but Lydia's hair seemed a shade darker than usual- a more reddy-brown than its usual rouged tint. She greeted Dan's friends with a customary hug and kiss. Aaron again questioned himself as she moved on to Dan and appeared to linger their embrace a tad longer than the rest. She also had no qualms about shuffling the rest of the group around the table so she could take prime position next to Dan. As she sat, she briefly lifted her eyes and acknowledged Aaron sat the other side of the attractive young student.

'Aaron.' She nodded. Aaron swiftly nodded back but said nothing.

'Right...drinks...?' Dan enquired.

###########################################################################

The night continued less awkwardly than Aaron had expected. Aaron inwardly thanked Scott for his ability to snap away much of the awkwardness. Still, conversation between the group flowed less easily and the banter Aaron so much enjoyed and felt he could contribute in previously had all but disappeared. The music seemed to grow in volume and the bar became noticeably busier. More and more people threw down their inhibitions and made their way to the dancefloor to thrive on Bar West's exuberant collection of Dance, Chart and R&B. Luke had brought over a round of shots which made the six of them groan and giggle with disgusted laughter. Dan began coughing and spluttering; trying to breathe and laugh at the same time whist the acidic liquid stung his throat. Without thinking, Aaron exaggeratedly patted him on the back.

'S'alright mate, s'alright, you'll get through this!' Aaron mock-nursed, causing the rest of the group to cackle even louder. Aaron's beaming face faded however as he noticed Lydia slide away. Although he'd felt her disgust, he was relieved she'd moved. She traversed a short distance away and began to talk to a group of girls she obviously knew. The girls were dressed equally as glamorous; sticking out gloriously under the dim lights and belting music.

A short time later, Aaron was taken by surprise as Scott, Luke, Charlotte and Dan gave a collective 'Ohhhh!' as a lively R&B song Aaron recognised faded into the DJ's mix. All four of them jumped out of their seats.

'Come on!' Dan grabbed Aaron's hand firmly and gestured toward the dancefloor.

'Ohhh no!' Aaron protested good-naturedly.

'Oh come on!' Dan insisted, still clutching Aaron's manly hand.

'No chance mate!'

'Come _on_! This is a tune!'

'No mate.' Aaron shook his head, a playful smile beaming from his face.

'Come _on_!' Dan repeated, 'Don't be such a wimp!'

'No!'

'Aaron, I didn't have you down as such a wuss!'

'I don't care! I _do not_ dance!' With a shining smile and a wink of his gleaming eyes, Dan left Aaron to join his friends. Aaron got out of his seat and leant over the balcony to watch them raise their hands and sing wildly at eachother. Aaron laughed happily to himself until a flash of red in the corner of his eye made him turn.

Lydia was stood to his right, right next to him, looking over the balcony at the four friends.

'Not a dancer Aaron?' She asked, not looking at him. She held her wine glass precariously over the balcony.

'Can I help you with something?' Aaron glared.

'I think we've already established how you can help me Aaron.' Lydia stared at him, her huge eyelashes flickered. 'And so far, you aren't playing.'

'When are you going to realise that he doesn't love you? He never _did._'

'And what would you know? You've known him all of what...six days?'

'Well, I know from our kiss the other night that he's gay...so unless you have a little _something_ stashed away down there, I suggest you get over yourself...and quickly.'

'Like I'd be interested in any advice _you'd_ give me?'

'Well, you seem interested enough that you'd jump at a shitty job yards away from my house and place of work so you can spy on me...'

Lydia swallowed and pursed her lips.

'Spying on you would suggest you have something to hide Aaron...' she snarled.

'Maybe I just want you to stay out of my life.'

'You stay out of Dan's life; I'll stay out of yours.'

##################################################################################

A little later, Dan returned to the table and to Aaron. Aaron thought he should probably feel guilty for forcing him to leave his friends, but truth be told he was just happy Dan was with him again. They talked for a short while. It hadn't gone unnoticed by Aaron that Dan was apparently resting his arm over the back of Aaron's chair. At first he found it a bit weird, but quickly he began to enjoy their closeness. All thoughts of Lydia and the rest of Dan's friends were long gone. Aaron swore he could smell the faint whiff of Dan's aftershave radiating from his smooth skin that was suddenly so close. They chatted in slow, hushed tones for a considerable amount of time. Aaron could feel himself stirring; his body begin to tingle with life. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to feel Dan's hot breath on his neck, feel the manly firmness of his lips again, the delicious softness as their tongues met...

All of a sudden, the loud vibrating of Aaron's phone smashed apart the addictive atmosphere.

Pulling the mobile out of his pocket, Aaron was alarmed to see it was the Dale Head landline number calling him. Aaron jumped from his seat and stuck one finger in his ear as he desperately tried to drown out the immense roar of the bar.

'Hello?' Aaron shouted.

'Aaron?' Instantly Aaron recognised Jackson's voice.

'Jackson? What's wrong?'

'Nothing. _You_ sound like you're having fun. Where are you?' Fortunately, Jackson also seemed to be raising his voice, probably because of the speakerphone he was using, Aaron assumed.

'Errr...yeah, I'm out.' Aaron answered uncomfortably.

'Yeah, I thought as much...'

Aaron squinted as if it would help him in any way to cognate the conversation any better. He wasn't sure if he'd imagined the sound of disappointment in Jackson's voice.

'Listen...' Jackson continued. 'You busy tomorrow...apart from being hung-over...?'

'Errrr, no...I've got nothing on.'

'Good.'

'Good?' Aaron noticed he'd unconsciously walked a considerable distance away from Dan whilst he struggled to hear Jackson on the phone. Dan now sat at the table alone, trying not to gaze dejectedly into his bottle of lager.

'Yeah, I think we need to talk.' Jackson suggested seriously.

'Really?'

'Yeah, nothing serious, just think we need a bit of a chat'. Aaron didn't answer. Jackson's tone didn't at all match with the 'nothing serious' concept he was promoting. 'So...pop round around...One o' clock?'

'Yeah, yeah...ok' Aaron murmured, barely audibly.

'Cool. See ya tomorrow then.'

'Yeah. See ya.' Aaron heard the phone hang up. Obviously either Jez or Hazel had listened to the entirety of that conversation. Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes anxiously. He looked at the time displayed on the screen of his phone.

**00.24**

Aaron hadn't told Jackson he was going out tonight. For all Jackson knew, Aaron was at home, probably asleep. Yet this phone call was apparently so urgent that it was worth waking him up for it. Aaron swallowed. He shuffled back over to Dan who noticed the colour in Aaron's face had dissipated dramatically. Aaron bit his lip.

'Listen mate, I gotta go.' Aaron started.

'What?'

'Something's come up. Sorry.'

Aaron didn't want to prolong the agony. He barely even looked at Dan, he just grabbed his coat then strode away hastily out of the front door of the bar. He knew he owed Dan so much more than that but it would hurt too much to attempt a proper goodbye. Besides, there was no way he could begin to explain the reason why he had to leave. The longer he remained; the more explanation he had to give.

Dan sat unexpectedly gutted at the table. He ran his hand comfortingly over his face. It didn't work. Who _was_ this guy? Everything was going _so_ great tonight, then, then, _that_ happened. A few minutes later, Dan's phone sprang to life on the table. It was a text from Aaron.

**Really sorry mate. Had such a good night. Sorry I just upped and left. Just something I gotta sort out.**

No explanation, no suggestion of meeting up again. Crestfallen, Dan gulped down the last of his beer and headed down to his friends on the dancefloor.

'


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

'Woah! You're early!' Jackson exclaimed the next morning as Aaron walked through the door. 'No hangover from hell?'

'No, wasn't a late one anyway.'

Jackson was sat in his chair on the far side of the room. Aaron heard someone drop something upstairs. The younger man swung around the freshly made bed and sat on its edge to face his boyfriend.

'So, who were you out with?' Jackson asked.

'Errr...no-one; just Adam.'

'Right.' Jackson nodded. Aaron noticed he seemed somewhat unconvinced for some reason.

'Just you two then?'

'Yeah... why?' Aaron could feel the threads of panic begin to unravel in his blood. Was this to do with Lydia?

'You have a good night?'

'Errr, yeah...it was alright.'

'So you're not like...seeing anyone then?'

'What? No! Course not!' Aaron lied. He could feel his face turn crimson. He stood by his decision not to tell Jackson about Dan. There was no need to hurt him unnecessarily.

'Alright! Just checking...'

Aaron sat uncomfortably. Jackson knew something; he definitely knew something.

'Why did you say that?' he asked recklessly.

'Well...cause...well, that's kinda what I want us to talk about.' Jackson exhaled loudly.

'Oh.' Aaron ventured, still very much confused. Had he heard something about him and Dan? Had Lydia come good on her threats or was he just talking more generally?

'Before I say anything, promise you won't kick off and storm out again because, Aaron, we really need to talk about this, about us, and I know you hate talking about this kind of stuff but it needs to be done...'

'Alright.' Aaron agreed evenly. It was clear from his rambling Jackson was stressed. Aaron braced himself.

'Right...' It was clear that now it came to it, Jackson didn't actually know how to start. He sighed. '...I'm sorry.'

'What?' Aaron's eyes widened. Out of everything, he certainly didn't expect to hear that.

'I'm sorry; about our talk last week. The open relationship thing...it was stupid...and I'm sorry.'

Something inside of Aaron dared him to feel something in the way of happiness. His heart leaped. This really wasn't what he'd expected to happen this morning at all...

'It was something Mum was saying last night...' Jackson continued.

Hazel turning matchmaker? Surely something wasn't right? Was Jackson completely dismissing this talk of seeing other people after all? Aaron held back his joy.

'Aaron, even before the crash, our relationship was always complicated...for me to throw something stupid into the mix like some weird open relationship thing...it was wrong, and it wasn't fair...on either of us.'

Aaron gazed into Jackson's bottomless brown eyes, they were wet and serious. Aaron could feel the happiness bursting to free itself of his body but he struggled to see the same feeling behind his boyfriend's eyes.

'It would have made things so much harder, so much more difficult. Again, for both of us. Pretending we were together when, really, we both knew otherwise would have been foolish...'

Aaron started to feel hope seeping out of him.

'Aaron, we both need to come to terms with it. With no ambiguity, no confusion; because the longer we would have carried on the way we were, in some kind of weird purgatory, the harder we were making it for ourselves...'

'_Were_?' Aaron questioned, his eyebrows raised meekly.

Jackson halted and spotted the destruction in Aaron's eyes. He licked his teeth, preparing himself.

'Yes...Aaron...we're over.'

Aaron swallowed.

'We have to be.' Jackson pressed. 'It's the only way either of us are ever going to be happy ever again. You were right, I wouldn't have been able to sit here and watch you step out that door with someone else then see you the next day and act like nothing had happened. It would have been way too hard.'

'But...But why can't we just be together?' Aaron wept. It broke Jackson's heart to hear Aaron say those words. They were so vulnerable, so raw, yet so pure. He felt a tear slide down his cheek. He looked away, unable to watch the upset erupt from his ex-boyfriend's face.

'Aaron, we've been through this...'

'I don't care!' Aaron raised his voice, anger beginning to crash through.

'Aaron we _can't_ be together!' Jackson also began to shout. As much as it hurt, he had to get it through to him. 'Not anymore!'

'But why? I wanna be with you, you wanna be with me!'

Jackson sobbed.

'You do... don't you?' Aaron asked quietly, intense vulnerability again edged in his voice.

'Of course I do!'

'Then why...?'

'Aaron, even _before_ the accident...we were hardly love's young bloody dream! We were arguing _all_ the time! We were going round and round in circles and we still are! I can't do it anymore! I can't sit on that merry-go-round of misery anymore!' He paused. 'We haven't been happy_, properly_ happy, for a long, long time.' Aaron sniffed, trying in vain to hold back his own tears. 'Who knows, if it wasn't for the crash, maybe we wouldn't have even lasted _this_ long?'

'No...' Aaron looked up at the ceiling. His heart literally ached. 'But I care about you _so_ much!'

'And I care about you! No. No, I love you; and you know that, and no, I'm not expecting you to say it back...'

Aaron let out an involuntary groan. It echoed with earth-swallowing sadness.

'Aaron you're my best mate in the entire world. You really are, and more than anything else I don't want that to change. I love you _so_ much, but it _has_ to be like this. It's _because_ I love you that it has to be like this.'

Aaron covered his face. After a while, he had composed himself just enough to speak.

'I'm so sorry Jackson; for everything; for everything that I've done, and for everything that has happened to you. I'm just...I'm so, so sorry. You mean so much to me and...'

'Aaron, stop.' Jackson urged, tears gushing down his heartbroken face. 'Come here...' He moved his head to bring Aaron closer.

Aaron swung his strong arms around Jackson and clung on tightly, so tightly. His wracked sobs penetrated through Jackson's body. Jackson knew that realistically he couldn't, but he swore he could feel Aaron's pain pulse right through him. Jackson nestled his face into Aaron's shoulder and equalled his sobs. He could smell the salt of Aaron's tears on his neck. Where once their closeness had enveloped them in such an impenetrable romantic embrace, it was now their sadness that wound them so firmly together.

Tragically, it was the most intimate they'd been with eachother in months. They hadn't shared, become one being, become _eachother_ in so long; and now it came to pass it would be for the last time. Eachother's tears flooded their bodies. They were positioned awkwardly; Aaron crouched over Jackson's chair, holding on to his stiff, warm body. It killed Jackson not to be able to reciprocate and fully immerse himself into Aaron's body, hold onto him so tightly like he never had to let go, but he knew that that was exactly the point. It was for this reason, their uncomfortable and unmistakable incompatibility, like they were two completely different shapes, which meant they couldn't be together. They couldn't even be together to console eachother that they couldn't be together.

This may seem like the very real end, but it was clear that neither would ever let eachother go; whether this was romantically, spiritually, or from the point of view of incredible companionship. This may be one end for Aaron and Jackson, but it was quite possibly the start of something new for them. A new start; a new beginning, a fresher outlook. Amongst all this sadness, maybe a slither of happiness lay on the horizon for the couple; if only the fates would allow them to reach it.

_A/N: Like Aarson's relationship, I realise this may seem like the end of the story but I can assure you it's not. There's a considerable amount left to come. As we know all too well, nothing is ever simple and clear cut for Aaron and Jackson..._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Days passed. Both Aaron and Jackson were far from themselves. Hazel, Paddy and Chas had all noticed the angst and moodiness in both boys had suddenly and inexplicably dropped entirely. Instead, both boys were heavily subdued as they went about their everyday lives. There had been no flaring of tempers on either side but there was a definite change. Unbeknownst to eachother, neither Aaron nor Jackson had told anybody about the breakup. Both believed it was nobody's business but their own and there was a strange kind of relief at not being pestered about their relationship. The breakup was devastating and exhausting. Not discussing it and letting the dust settle felt like the most comfortable step forward at the time.

Unfortunately, the not talking had spread as far as the boys themselves. Despite their declarations of endless, undefeatable friendship, they only spoke briefly one morning in Leyla's. Jackson had been sent out in his chair for bread whilst Hazel stood at the door of Dale Head watching him like a five-year-old with a new bike; she was proud and concerned in equal measure. They shared a very brief conversation about nothing in particular. Both put great effort in to avoid any awkwardness but it was to little avail. Jackson declared he needed to get back before his mum came and dragged him back into the house herself; and that was it. Both men cursed themselves for the rest of the day over their stupid unease, replaying the conversation over and over in their heads, deciding where they should have said something different.

Aaron hadn't heard from Dan. He wasn't surprised; the way he'd left it with him was insensitive and unfair. Considering the lukewarm reception Aaron had given Dan's previous forward gestures, Aaron hadn't expected any different. It was down to him if they ever saw eachother again. Aaron didn't like that pressure. It meant making a very difficult decision... or had that decision already been made for him by Jackson? Just thinking about the whole thing incited a dull ache inside his mind. Aaron had so far revelled in the coolness of the sand his head was buried in, but even that was becoming suffocating. Even though they'd only met a few times, he missed Dan. He missed the easy conversation, the light banter, the potential best mate who was conveniently also really hot. Oh, and available. Oh, and seemingly interested. Aaron considered that maybe now it was time for him to take control for a change. He'd sat back and let things happen to him, for other people to call the shots for far too long. Aaron whipped out his phone and began to type a message.

**Hey Dan, long time no speak. Don't suppose you fancy a drink this weekend? Aaron x**

Aaron agonised over the kiss at the end and eventually deleted it and replaced it with a full stop, but that also felt inappropriate so he left it blank.

'Oh for God's sake!' He thought to himself as he read and re-read what he'd written. Eventually he quit his faffing and pressed send. Instantly, he kicked himself for actually using the phrase 'long time no speak'. How cheesy was that? Aaron felt defeated before Dan had even had a chance to reply. It took an agonising four hours before Dan did reply and it wasn't the text Aaron had expected.

**Hey, bit busy this weekend**...

Aaron's heart sunk. He carried on reading.

...**and I'm pretty busy with Uni stuff next week**...

'Brilliant...' Aaron groaned before finishing reading.

**...but our Uni football team's playing next weekend if you fancy coming to the game? I've been roped into marshalling it but it does mean I can get us in for free?**

Aaron's heart leaped just as fast as it had fallen moments before. Quickly, he typed a message back.

**Footie? Guess you weren't just pretending to be all sporty then? :p Don't go thinking I'm always this much of a cheap date though...;)**

Soon after, Dan replied.

**Date? Mate I just want you to do your angry face at people so I don't actually have to do anything...**

Aaron's body tingled. He could feel his face starting to ache from his unconscious smiling. Suddenly he remembered where he was, at work, and looked around to see if anyone had clocked him grinning like a madman to himself. They hadn't.

Aaron loved his and Dan's banter and just a couple of texts to him had left him feeling like he'd shaken off a huge load that had been pushing down on his shoulders for days. He finally felt like he had something to look forward to in his life, a corner had been turned. It was a corner Aaron was admittedly very wary of leaving behind, but for now it felt good to move off.

Over the last few days Aaron had noticed Lydia's car parked outside the B&B quite a few times. Fortunately, he hadn't cast eyes over her in person. It had given Aaron another reason to head straight home from work rather than stop off at the Woolie and mix with people when he saw that she was still somewhere in the village. Today though, her car wasn't outside and Aaron had been in the midst of a Charity-Cain-Debbie triangle of fury all day and he really _did_ need a drink. In addition, he didn't really fancy heading home and staring at his bedroom ceiling for another night.

With peculiar trepidation, he edged through the doors of the Woolie. As soon as the bar door opened, he saw her. Ryan had left the garage about twenty minutes before him and had presumably spent fifteen of them chatting up Lydia at the side of the bar. Aaron groaned loudly under his breath. It was enough for Lydia to avert her eyes from Ryan and spot him. Sensing her glance, Aaron refused to reciprocate it. Noticing Lydia's distraction, Ryan turned to see it was Aaron she seemed to be concerned with.

'You alright mate? Didn't know you were coming in tonight- would have waited for you!'

'Nah, it's alright...you're obviously busy.' Aaron grunted, looking straight ahead as he leant over the bar.

'Wait...you're not...you know, you two?' Ryan flicked his head back at Lydia, concerned he was treading on his mate's toes.

After a moment, Aaron turned to face him and gave him the dirtiest look he could muster; one both full of disgust and reeking of a 'did you actually just ask that? Think about it...' Aaron watched as stark realisation reached Ryan's face. He blushed wildly.

'Oh... Yeah. That's quite possibly the most stupid thing I've ever said.'

Aaron heard him turn back to Lydia, then disappear to the toilet.

'You not talking to me tonight then Aaron?' Lydia chirped a few seconds later.

'If I had my way I'd never talk to you again.'

'Well, you know how you can make that happen.'

Aaron sighed and turned to face her.

You're gonna stick around here following my every move until then?' He questioned.

Even Lydia's slow shrug of the shoulders oozed arrogance.

Chas had been watching from across the pub. She'd tried on numerous occasions to find out what was happening with her son over the last few days. She, Paddy and Hazel knew something was wrong between Aaron and Jackson but none of them actually knew whether they were together or not in the first place. Had they just had another falling out? Somehow though, Chas definitely felt that this time it was different. She was greatly concerned, and it frustrated her even more that Aaron refused to let her in. Now here he was, talking to this stuck-up stranger, a fierce frown screwing up his tired face and Chas had no idea who she was or what was going on and what she had to do with him and Jackson.

Ryan returned from the toilet. Chas grabbed his arm.

'Oi! Who's that Aaron's talking to?' she whispered loudly to him, never taking her eyes off her son.

'Errr, her name's Lydia... works at the B&B.' Ryan stumbled, alarmed at Chas's sudden ambush. Both of them watched as Aaron's temper visibly snapped in front of them. They were too far away to actually hear his heated words.

'You know, you don't _actually_ do anything do you? You're all talk. You like to throw around your snide little threats and angry glares, but what do you actually do? Nothing! You're pathetic!' Aaron was right up in her face now. He could see he'd shaken her. She closed her eyes firmly, her long eyelashes clamping down like gates in front of a castle. They reopened with tangible renewed resolve. She moved closer to him, closing the remaining space between their faces until they were almost touching. Aaron could smell her pungent fragrance and feel her winey breath on his face.

'I'm biding my time.' She sneered. 'I _know_ from how uncomfortable you are around me that you've got something to hide. And when it comes out, don't you worry, this cat's gonna pounce... Excuse me.' She moved away and knocked back the rest of her drink. Grabbing her coat and heading out of the door, she couldn't resist one last smouldering glare at the nineteen year old.

Aaron pushed himself off the bar and brushed his face with his hand in fury. He stormed past Chas and Ryan without a word, seemingly not even noticing them through his haze of red.

After splashing his face with water and some way regaining his composure, Aaron made his way back into the bar. Ryan was standing back where Aaron had first found him. He was by himself. Aaron scanned the room.

'Where's my mum?' He asked Ryan. He had noticed her after all.

'Errr, I think she went after that Lydia girl.' Ryan replied tentatively.

'What?'

##################################################################################

'Oi! Ginger Spice! I want a word with you!' Chas barked up the street after Lydia.

Clinging onto her coat for warmth, Lydia swung around. Her breath billowed out in front of her.

'Are you...Are you talking to me?' She enquired quietly.

'Well I don't see anyone else who fits that description!' Chas advanced.

'Errr, it's red...not ging...I'm sorry, who are you?'

'It doesn't matter who I am, who are you?'

'I'm sorry?'

'You bloody _will_ be if you don't stop bothering my Aaron!'

'Ohhh _your _Aaron!' Lydia nodded sardonically, looking Chas up and down. 'The bulldog stare, the flying off the handle, the..._chav_ chic...I should have noticed the resemblance.'

'Look, lady!' Chas stuck out her finger and jabbed menacingly into the cold air. 'Aaron might not be able to hit you, but I certainly bloody will!' she growled.

Lydia looked convincingly unfazed.

'Is that right?' She said, tilting her head to the side condescendingly.

'Oh yeah, If you cause any more trouble for Aaron and Jackson I'll bloody well hunt you down girl!'

'Jackson?' Lydia frowned after a pause.

Aaron burst through the pub doors.

'Who's Jackson? She snarled.

'


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

'Who's Jackson?' She snarled.

Aaron swallowed. Even from the door of the pub he'd heard what she'd said. Lydia knew.

He paced up to the two women and roughly snatched his mum by the arm. Chas swung around and stumbled slightly as Aaron dragged her back towards the pub.

'Aaron!' she protested. 'Aaron!' Her heels clattered clumsily on the road. She tried to look into his face, to gather some sort of expression, a reaction. He wasn't looking at her and the darkness obstructed her.

Pained at her yelling, Aaron swung Chas around and looked her right in the eyes. He continued to hold onto her arm with a vice like grip. He'd managed to haul her far back enough so that the outdoor lights of the Woolpack outlined the glimpse of fear in his mother's eyes. He regretted treating her so forcefully but this was serious.

'You have no idea what you have just done.' He spoke slowly. Chas watched his eyes flash. They were wet and there was definite anger in them, but also sadness.

'Of course I don't Aaron because you don't talk to me!' she pleaded. 'Not only that but you've stopped talking to Paddy! Plus, from what I can gather you've also stopped talking to _Jackson_!'

'Sssh! Stop!' He breathed. Aaron squeezed her arm even harder. He swore he heard her whine in pain. He glanced back up the road to see if Lydia had heard.

She was gone.

##################################################################################

The next morning, Lydia watched from behind the net curtains as Aaron made his way to work. The sunlight dashed the ghostly, lacy pattern across her face. She twitched slightly as she saw Aaron glance over to the B&B where she'd already started work. She'd gotten the bus to Emmerdale again; thinking Aaron was on tenterhooks all day as to her whereabouts gave an extra rush to her blood. The car had always been a giveaway; it was always more rewarding to strike when unexpected, she found. Watching Aaron now, she could see he was anxious and he had every reason to be. His Jeremy-Kyle-guest of a Mother had obviously dropped a bombshell last night.

'Jackson'. Who was 'Jackson'? The obvious answer was of course a boyfriend, but she needed to be certain. If she'd rushed to Dan's side to deliver the news of Aaron's deception, she needed her facts straight or the whole thing would be useless and god knows how damaging to her and Dan's relationship. Judging by Aaron's reaction outside of the pub, this 'Jackson' was obviously something Aaron wanted to hide. Now Lydia had to see this one through. Her persistence was beginning to pay off. In the end, it always did.

##################################################################################

'Is Victoria in?' Aaron asked at the bar of the Woolpack at lunchtime. He had a feeling she only worked at the B&B in the mornings on Friday.

'Erm, yes, she is.' Diane replied curtly.

'Well...can I speak with her?' Aaron asked, rolling his eyes impatiently.

'If you promise not to talk to her like you spoke to that other young lady in here last night.'

Aaron sighed.

'Can I just talk to her please?' he said, resisting the urge to say something sarcastic or offensive.

Diane pursed her lips then unhurriedly headed into the back. She returned less than a minute later with an inquisitive looking Victoria following behind.

Victoria folded her arms.

'What's up?' she asked.

Aaron indicated that they should sit. They sat at the opposite sides of a table in the booth to Aaron's right.

'Has she said anything...Lydia?' Aaron broached.

'About what? You? Well... yeah. You keep, kind of, popping up in conversation.' Victoria squirmed. Aaron scowled. 'I don't know whether I only notice it because of what you said but...she kind of always tries to turn the conversation to you. To be honest with you, she's a bit weird and I don't really like her so I don't really talk to...'

Aaron cut her off.

'What's she asked you?'

Victoria looked away to think.

'Erm, like if you're seeing anyone...she asked that this morning actually...'

'What? She's here now? Like in the village?' Her car had definitely not been outside as he'd walked into the pub.

'Yeah, and she's asked about us before.'

'_Us_?'

'Yeah, you know, like _us_' she smiled.

Aaron screwed his face up. He didn't really want to get into that. Ironically, at that moment however it suddenly dawned him how similar he and Dan were in their experiences in that sense; both 'with' a girl before...

'Did she mention Jackson?'

'Err, no I don't think so. Why?'

'Did _you_ mention him?'

'No. I just kind of sidestepped the question. Like I said, I don't really like talking to her.'

Aaron rammed his tongue into his cheek, thinking.

'Are you gonna tell me what all this is about or what?' Victoria asked impatiently.

'No.' Aaron sprang up from his seat. There was no way of getting around this. He had to talk to Lydia himself. She was in the village. She could be telling Jackson all about what he and Dan had done right now.

'Aaron!' Victoria similarly jumped from her seat. 'You can't tell me and ask me all this stuff then not tell me what's going on!' Victoria continued.

'Yes I can.' Aaron answered shortly with wide eyes. With that, he headed out of the pub.

##################################################################################

Lydia fingered the letter carefully in her hands. She bit her lip in excitement.

'Mrs Pollard!'Lydia shouted up the stairs at the B&B.

A few moments later, Val appeared at the top of the stairs. 'Yes love?' she beamed, leaning over the banister.

'Errr, the post's just come but I think we might have got someone else's.' Lydia chirped.

'Oh, really? Who's it addressed to?'

'Erm, someone called 'Jackson'?' Lydia ventured, careful not to stumble and make it obvious she didn't have a surname.

'Ohhh Jackson! Aye yeah, he lives down the road. Don't know how his post would end up here though.'

'Ahhh which house? I'll drop it round...' Lydia offered with an innocent smile.

'No, no bother. I'll just give it to them next time I see them'.

'Them?' Lydia squinted. Did she mean him and Aaron?

Val dramatically switched her face to 'remorseful'.

'Aye. Poor mite was in a terrible accident last year; in a wheelchair now, poor thing. Poor lad can't feel anything below his neck now. He lives with his mam at the end of the road- next to the garage. His mam, Hazel, works at the new Post Office now Viv's gone.'

'Viv?' Lydia shook her head in confusion. There were too many names being loaded into this.

'Aye, she died in the fire at new year. It turned out it was the copper all along! I always said there was something fishy about him...' Val's eyes lit up at the dropping of siliceous gossip.

'Wait, so this Jackson lives at the end of the road?'

'Yeah, I'll sort it though love. Just leave it on the side and I'll drop it in or just give it to our Diane at the pub.'

Lydia thumbed the envelope in her hand; the one clearly addressed to Val and Eric, not Jackson.

'No it's fine! I'll push it through on my way home!' Lydia offered.

Val squinted, bemused at her odd insistence.

'Ok... Please yourself.' She shrugged and started back up the stairs.

'Or...!' Lydia raised her voice. Val stopped in her tracks. 'I could just give it to Aaron...right?' Lydia asked carefully.

Val raised her eyebrows.

'Oh! You know Aaron? Used to be a right toe-rag that one, but him and Jackson don't half look cute together, them two! Even now!' She grinned and disappeared upstairs.

For a second Lydia reeled from the revelation. Aaron and Jackson were most definitely a couple. The circumstances of their relationship certainly weren't what she expected but facts were facts. Aaron had lied to Dan ten times over. She had her ammunition. Now it was time to make Aaron pay and get him out of Dan's life for good.

Her lips filled out in pleasure.

##################################################################################

Aaron barged his way through the doors of the bar. To his surprise, he didn't even have to look for Lydia. She was sat at the corner of the bar closest to the door drinking delicately from her glass of Rosé wine.

'Aaron! I must say...I wasn't expecting to see you today.' She greeted him. 'I thought you'd have some _business_ to attend to.'

'You haven't told him then?' Aaron panted. When he'd gone round earlier Jackson was out with Jez and still wasn't back. Moreover, Jackson was hardly the easiest person to get hold of by mobile these days. Lydia noticed Aaron looked genuinely surprised.

'No, I haven't. I've decided to be gracious and do something I've never done before... give someone a chance.'

'What?' Aaron struggled to comprehend her words. Surely she wasn't just going to drop all of this, not tell Jackson and allow him to keep seeing Dan? Surely?

'Well, I _did_ happen to see poor tragic Jackson in his wheelchair today, and, as heartless as I am, even _I'm_ not cruel enough to tell a cripple his boyfriend's cheating on him right there and then in the street...'

Aaron got right up in her face; Lydia could see the fury simmering behind his eyes.

'Don't you _dare_ patronise him!'

'...so I'm going to let _you_ do it. I'm giving you some time. Only a bit of it; obviously. As I'm sure you've noticed, I'm a bit of a brat; and brats don't like waiting. So you have precisely until I get bored to tell _Jackson_...,' her voice clung on to his name, knowing all too well how much it would irritate, '..._and_ Dan for that matter, the truth. Or I will.'

Aaron clenched his jaw and ground his teeth until his gums ached.

'Jackson... he doesn't need to know.' He said after a while. There's no need to hurt him. Don't you think he's been hurt enough recently?'

'Now who's being patronising?' She tilted her head slightly then took a sip from her drink.

Aaron shook his head defiantly. He could feel all the muscles in his body physically trembling in vehemence.

'You're off your head! And you really think this is gonna make Dan love you?'

'After you've hurt him so badly? I_ know_ it will. You'll break it off with him; I'll be his shoulder to cry on. So, if you don't mind...'she leaned into him, staring directly into his fiery eyes.'...Get on with it. ' Her arrogant smile vanished. The corners of her mouth twitched and she turned back to her glass.

Aaron's nostrils flared. Lydia could hear his breathing escalate. He opened his mouth to say something; to bite back- but he had nothing. It was all over. There was nothing else he could say. Licking his lips and screwing his hands into fists he threw himself out of the pub door. The door smacked against the wall. Lydia watched Diane flinch from the other side of the bar as the noise rattled around the pub.

Lydia looked on confidently, soaking up the stares from the rest of the bar. She took another sip from her drink and slowly unzipped her handbag that rested on the stool next to her. She took out her phone and pressed unlock. Her wallpaper picture shone brightly at her touch. She smiled broadly as her and Dan, fresh-faced in their mid-teens, arms locked around eachother, beamed gleefully back at her.


End file.
